How do I stop doubting him but still keep him in my life?

I am a very anxious person.
The guy I have been seeing is very laid back and relaxed but has had some depressive characteristics.

He is my ex, we broke up because we were doing distance for a while, but he is the love of my life.
On Tuesday I got very upset because I felt like he didn't want me although I stayed at his and we had lunch together and everything.

He turned to me and said, 'I feel like you treat me the same if I make any effort or not. I hate to say this but you need to fix your head (like i am) before you let anyone into your life'.

He is working on himself, started going to the gym and stuff and he said that I need to focus on my happiness and not his. I need to become less insecure and doubtful of his feelings for me.

He said we can stay the same, hanging out and potential cuddles and stuff.

How do I do this? And how do I make sure I don't lose him in the process?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Basically, as not to disrupt the continuity of what you currently have with him, you should find and engage in interests and areas, all of which should enhance your growth and self-esteem, to work, irrespective and independent of what he does and/or the possibility of a reconciliation, to resolve your issues.

    In other words, he wants you both to improve individually, so that you will be on the same page collectively.

    With that in mind, the point of emphasis is improvement. Thus, setting goals for yourself may of use to you. And as you accomplish them one-by-one, your self-esteem should improve day-by-day.

    Also, as he did, join a gym and exercise regularly. Regular exercise not only improves one's physical health, but it also improves one mental health, as well.

    Last but not least, if he has not given you a reason to be insecure, your insecurity could be a manifestation of an underlying control issue and an unfavorable self-perception.

    With that being said, genuinely accept, approve of, and like yourself for the person you are...'ll get over your insecurity.


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