Girl I've been seeing for 6 months, says she has to "explain things" but hasn't said anything. What does this mean?

Last night I went out with this girl who had been seeing for awhile. It's been difficult to find time because of university, work, etc.

At the end of the night she says she "needs to explain things". However, she doesn't tell me much. She just says that she wants to tell me something but says it will take too long to go into. She says (paraphrasing) that it takes awhile to like someone like that and that she doesn't want to be taken advantage of, while acknowledging that she knows I'm not taking advantage of her.

I don't know if it's just me but it seems kind of vague. Clearly something's happened in the past but a lack of details worries me a little. The fact she brings this up now seems kind of weird. She says she wants to tell me the whole story but I don't understand why she didn't just say. She's known me for a while so I'm not sure why she feels she can't explain it in full. However, I fully intend to give her some space to figure out what she wants to say.

I was just wondering if anyone else has had similar experience with this; knows what it all means; knows what to do; etc


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't blame you for being flummoxed by this. You're right, she's being vague and suggestive about something that sounds like might affect your relationship. Frankly, there's an element of tease going on, or provocation. You guys have been seeing each other 6 months. She shouldn't need any extra space to say what's on her mind.

    • I just feel like she's in control of the situation now. She has information that she believes is important but I can't make her tell me what it is. I accept that complete silence on my part for weeks on end is not the right approach either but I can't push her either

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  • Have you two had sex?

    • We haven't. When I say "difficult to find time" I really mean that there has been so little time to go on dates nevermind have sex

    • Hate to say it but I think she doesn't think a relationship is a good idea for her

    • It is quite possible that this is the case, but it just bothered me that given the length of time we've known each other she resorted to rushed and vague statements. Plus it kind of suggests that she's felt this way all along and said nothing which again is a tad annoying

  • Maybe she's lost some interest or doesn't know what she wants?

    • It may come across as that. However, we both still have university nights out; graduation; and the graduation ball to attend within the next month. So, to me, it seems like a bad time to completely change our situation all of a sudden