How do you make a shy girl comfortable around you?

So there's this girl who I like, but she is shy around me, she says hello, gives me a big grin and often has the reddish cheeks, but we haven't really had a decent conversation.

How would I go about initiating a conversation to break the ice, to make her feel more comfortable around me? I want to know a bit about her before I ask her out.

Obviously if I ask her a series of questions right off the bat it's going to sound weird.

I'm just stumped, usually I meet new people, women and men and conversation comes naturally, I've never had to try and manufacture a conversation, so I have no idea where to start.


Most Helpful Girl

  • tell her compliments like hey i like your perfume or outfit or you have such pretty eyes...humans always feel good about themselves when they get a compliment...may be then she will be more open to u...or u can ask for her number and text her, people find it easier to text rather than talk in person...u can keep conversation going that way...

    but from the sounds of it, it sounds like she does like u a lot

    one trick to always remember is that when a person is super shy around u and awkward it means they have intense feelings for u and u pretty much intimidate in a way, its a good thing u intimidate her? thats why she's so uncomfortable...and with others, people are so comfortable with each other, talk easily about anything, cause theyre just friend-zoned...just friends rather...and we dont care what they think or how we are with them cause they dont matter...but with the person we like, we get really blush and shy around.

    • Wow that makes sense I guess!

      Thanks for your help, I've learned a lot.

      I'm ready to go and break some ice. :)

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What Girls Said 6

  • I'm shy and introverted in real life. If a guy can make me laugh, that eases the tension so much for me. And allows me to become much more comfortable around him and even make jokes back.
    Also, take an interest in what she likes and ask her questions. When someone shows they're interested in what I like to do, I open up much more.

  • try and spend more time with her. the more time you spend with someone the more comfortable they naturally become with that individual. Share your own personal life experiences (they don't' have to be anything really deep... even just a few childhood stories or something) And then she'll most likely respond with some story of her own. and if she doesn't then you just continue the chit chat. Its not something that will happen in one sitting, comfort is built of time.

  • Figure out what she's into. See if you have some kind of common ground, then go from there.

    • How would I go about finding out what she enjoys. I've seriously got no idea how to approach this, I've never had to deal with a shy girl before. The furthest I've gotten is asking her how she is. I'm just stumped!

  • My sister is very introverted but I can easily get a conversation out of her approaching her alone and with a question. So like if we are bowling, I would sit by the girl while she's on her phone or reading or whatever alone and say " Are you any good? " Normally, they will respond with yes, no, idk, etc. but if you want the conversation just say " Well I suck." or "Then let's play a game, winner buys loser ice cream." They will most likely start speaking.

    • Thank you, you've been a big help.

  • Make her laugh, thats the best thing you can do and compliment her and just be nice to her

  • Spend more time with her and just act cool, start giving her light, compliments and build up to detailed answer- questions, first ask simple questions like where are you from and all and then build up to more complex questions

    • Thank you for your help.

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