Would you date someone who is a self confessed "mess"?

I've been a serial monogamist until the end of a long relationship about two years ago. I decided to take time and work on myself but long story short I'm now unemployed and dealing with mental and physical health problems. In short, I'm a mess. I expressed to a friend that I generally consider myself un-date-able and I wouldn't want to date someone who would date me in the condition I'm in. They said I'm taking the wrong approach and that if I were able to find someone who would love me the way I am I could be assured it was genuine.
What do you think? Should I see what's out there or wait until I get my shit together; i.e. A job, A car, stable mental/physical health.


  • Go for it
    Vote A
  • Get it together
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I very much understand you since I am in a similar situation. So, since I've been thinking the same about myself (that I am not dateable at this period of my life), I do believe that you are right. Personally, I am afraid that if I start dating I may ruin everything with that person. Therefore I sort of see the same risk for you.

    All that being said, I still don't think that you should avoid dating if the right person comes your way. Maybe you should just listen to your inner self very closely- this way you may know, if it's better to start something or not with a certain person. I get the feeling, that many psychologists would agree, that only we ourselves know what's best for us, but we sometimes hide this knowledge very deep inside us.

    So, I'd say, don't SEEK dating, but I don't think you should avoid it. If you avoid it, you may miss your chances. Also, your friend knows you, so perhaps they see something very valuable in you- something that is more important than all your issues.

    And finally completely off-topic: I love your nick here :D

    • [And finally completely off-topic: I love your nick here :D]


    • Show All
    • I can't take it anymore. Who are you?

    • Why?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I personally wouldn't. Do whatever what you want but I think its better to wait until you get your shit together.

  • Get it together. When it's not, the people you attract do more harm than good. Speaking from experience! Good luck, guy! You can help yourself!


What Guys Said 1

  • Get it together first man. The rest will follow.