I have been trying to understand at what stage I am with this girl?

We have been dating for a month or so. We chat every day almost all the time, did do out almost every day last week. I did ask her on why she was distant when I tried to move on, into kissing. She said that she isn't ready because of her bad relationships last time. And we spoke about me moving on and stopping our communication, she offered staying friends. But I got angry, as being in a friend zone many times in the past, like 4 times in a row of moving too slow and not showing the affection. I didn't contact her for a few days and she initiated the contact, and I told her - all or nothing, that I won't stay friends. She said that with me she can be herself like with nobody else, and that she just not ready yet. Lately, from almost not touching, I moved to hugging, and I could get away with it. while watching a movie she put her legs on mine and I leaned near her, and she was ok with it. But with kissing she is reluctact when discussing it, I did kiss her in a chick once. Question is, its kind of a serious for me, and this relationship thing is the first time I have moved that far, thus I sometimes not sure where I am. She wants to move slowly, and I don't want to end up in a friend zone again. I wonder what the scenario could be, as many dating and pickup advise on that are different. And is it me who is panicking without the reason for it, and I should just relax and go with the flow?


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What Girls Said 2

  • I'm a child abuse survivor with Asperger's Syndrome. Kissing, touching, etc. is ALL weird to me. If she says she likes you, chances are she does. Just be patient and stop trying to push her limits with the touching; she told you she had a bad relationship because she wanted you to understand why she's acting like this, why she can't rush it, etc. with the hopes of you understanding. Just be a gentleman and let her warm up to you. It may take a long time, but who knows? Perhaps she'll be the best girlfriend you've ever had, and she'll respect and feel safe with you a lot more if you give her the time and patience she needs. If you pressure her, you might force her into an emotional box and make her want to just hide in it, and she won't feel safe with you - she'll feel forced. Those who were in bad relationships/abused/etc. DON'T fit anything in those dating/pickup advice articles like "normal" people do, so you really shouldn't rely on it too much.

    Hope this helps. x

  • If she just came out if a bad relationship and wants to take it slow there has to be a reason she was probably abused so just go with the flo and take it slow there is no reason to rush


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