Very confused about a situation I am in with a girl?

This girl and I have been talking and hangin out the past little over a month. She had just gotten out of a 4 1/2 year relationship where she was treated very badly. So we started talking til she finally told me she was ready to go on a date. I surprised her by getting out food to go at Cracker Barrel and took her on top of hill over my small town where I set up a candle lit dinner. She said it was like a fairy tale and was all over me that night. Everything was goin great between us everyone I talked to said all she talked about was me and how much she liked me. Next time if took her hunting cause she said she'd never been and wanted to go. Later that night I took her home and she was acting funny. We got to talking and said she wanted us to slow down with the kissing and holding hands cause of her just getting out of that relationship. I respected that 100%. So I never did hold her hand anymore and the only time I would kiss her would be when I'd take her home and she's give me a kissy face wanting a kiss. Then this past Memorial Day weekend I was planning on goin to the lake. She wanted to go out that Friday night before I left cause she felt like she hadn't seen me in forever. Then she ended up coming to the lake with me and my family and stayed the night one night. Took her home the next day and she was acting really funny. I didn't hear from her for over a day then she texted me saying that I was pushing her into a relationship too quickly and she couldn't be in a relationship right now after getting out of that long relationship and that she needs to have time and space to work on herself. I don't know what to do. I really like her a lot and I'm head over heels for her. Everyone I've talked to couldn't believe she did that cause she always talked about how much she liked me. Talked to her a tad since and said I need to give her her space. What should I do cause I want her to know that I'm here for her and care about her. Please help me I'm so confused!!!

Thank y'all so much! Is it ok to wait a week then text her and say hey I'm just checking on you making sure you're doing good an I'm here for you if you need anything let me know. Is that ok?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Give her time, se will definitely accept you love.

    • She will definitely accept your love.( I made a mistake before)

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What Girls Said 4

  • Give her the time and space she needs.

    And one more thing - I may be wrong but this is what my experience tells me - if she feels this way now, she'll never be eager to start a relationship with you. And if you let her know "you're there for her" you're just making yourself less desirable in her eyes. Maybe it's unfair, maybe it makes no sense, but passion is not about fairness and logic anyway. She is not ready for the same thing you are, and by simply pursuing her for a relationship at this point, you've kinda "tainted" yourself in her eyes. You're not a guy she can fall in love with, you're not a guy who can awaken her passion... No, you're a supportive guy who's gonna be there, and wait, and be full of understanding.
    If I were you, I'd move on completely.

    And if the two of you are truly great for each other, maybe you'll get together in a year or two, or even more, when all of this is totally forgotten by both of you. But for heaven's sake, don't wait for her to "change her mind" or whatever. Move on and get her out of your head. Maybe she comes back to pursue you in a while, who knows...

  • Let her know you're there are still interested, but respect the space. Even though she was treated badly, it's still hard to get over someone you've been with for so long, usually it takes half of the amount of time you were with them to completely get over them. So it's normal for her to be saying she wants space, it seems like she does really like you but she has too much emotions right now to where she feels like she can't fully like commit to you, you know? cause she still cares about her ex. But by letting her know you're there with small gestures will let her know you respect that and when she gets it together she will be all over you. If you constantly ask her questions about it though, it may bug her and make her feel like you are rushing her or pressuring her to make a decision, even though you're not, it may feel that way. So just remain respectful and patient, if you like her that much it will be worth the wait.

  • Long talks at night are the best things ever. Try to talk on the phone to reconnect. Also, when she says she wants to slow down she means. She wants to go on dates but she doesn't want to have a bigger make out sech on every date. When you take her to dates you can hold her hand and Treat her like a princess like you did with the first date. And kiss her like twice. That's it. Then do the same thing for the next date for a few weeks THEN if she's comfortable kiss a little more. But let her know who she's kissing by spending time talking. You know? Other wise girls hold this guilt that they feel like a whore for kissing someone they meet recently. (From the mind of a girl, and I've been in a relationship for 2 years)

  • I would just give her some time.. Don't keep texting her like everyday it'll push her away


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