Was she just messing with me or what?

Ok im a 17 old male. Around Christmas time i was talking to a girl in my band class. Then I went to my wrestling tournament out of town. So we stayed at hotel. I texted her on fb for 3 hours. That I wanted to be more then friends. And I really liked her and wanted to hang out more and possibly date, I also invited her to my wrestling meets to spend more time together. She said said she think about it but she was pushing towards yes. Just the way she was texting. So the next day I texted her after my tournament, she said she didn't have any feelings for me like that. I was crushed more like dead inside. I then opened my heart to her, told her I loved her, and if we ever dated I would spend every day better than the last, treat her like a queen. She said that was sweet but she just wanted to be friends only. I was so devastated that was my first true love I had, I still even have feelings for her. When I got home that night I tried to od on pain killers and alcohol and cried myself to sleep. I told I did that a week later. She said please stop your better than that, you'll meet all different kinds of girls in college, she was sorry she said she was sorry I caused you to do that. I said its alright I want u to be with me because you want to be not because you feel bad or have to be with me. To this day im still depressed and cry when I dont have her with me. But were just friends now. Any suggestions or help?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I friendzoned a guy like 3 months ago and now we're dating, but he worked really hard to win me over, but that isn't always what happens to everyone.

    I was devastated about 5 months ago when the guy I used to love called it quits, I told him I was never gonna love anyone again or that I wouldn't love anyone as much as I loved him, but as you can see I am now happily dating a guy who worked his ass off to get me to like him back and the other guy and me have maintained a wonderful friendship.

    So I only have one thing left to say. Let it goooo~ Let it goooo~


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What Girls Said 2

  • This girl seems like a really great girl. It looks like you must really love her. Once you've poured your heart out to someone and told them how you feel, that's the only thing you can do and hope that they return the feelings. If they don't, well then that's just something you have to accept. It's also no good devoting all your time to this girl and refusing to meet anyone else. But tell her that if she ever comes to her senses and realizes she loves you too, that you'll be open to her.

  • She was not messing with you probably. When girls send mixed signals it is not because they wanna play with your emotions, it's cause they don't know how they feel about you either!
    When she came clear and told you she didn't feel the same, you should have just let it go.
    Opening up your heart even more would not get her to eventually like you. That was a mistake. Just let it go, and next time if they don't feel the same just move on with your life instead of continuing to desperately try. Trust me it is really uncomfortable, and frankly annoying for the girl


What Guys Said 2

  • Okay, firstly I'm going to stress how important it is you don't try to OD on painkillers and alcohol. I get it can be pretty devastating to get rejected by someone you care about but you get over it eventually. I'm speaking from experience here. You'll meet someone else and everything that's happened over the past few months will be forgotten. You don't achieve anything by trying to OD.

    Secondly, from what you're saying it sounds like you might have come on too strong. That's my understanding, other people might see it differently. What you need to keep in mind is people need their space. I understand the temptation to talk to someone on a daily basis but the fact is it can sometimes come off as desperate or clingy.

    Thirdly, you need to respect that she just wants to be your friend. You can't make her change her mind. It's tough but it's worth considering trying to move on with your life. The more you occupy your time the less you think about her and the easier it gets for you. Try taking up a new hobby, exercise, do some volunteering, etc.

    I hope this has been of some help to you and that you take it as advice/constructive criticism rather than anything else. Life and relationships are tough but I hope you know that you are never the only person that has been through this. We have all faced something like this so please don't think that you are alone. There is always someone there to help you out.

    All the best

  • Dude you gotta get a fucking grip on yourself.

    You told her how you felt about her, she didn't feel the same way. At that point, the story should be over, and you go on to the next girl.

    Man up and stop putting pussy on a pedestal.

    • Amen to that last part.. if you keep doing that you will be in a world of hurt.. trust me.. I've been down that road (minus pain killers and drinking) just move on.. you will look back and say wow I'm glad I waited or did not get involved with that other girl.. I don't like girls who play games like that most do that a lot in the teens and early to late 20's