After years of dating I have no clue what to do!

I had a first date (via Craigs List) on Sunday night with Joe. We met for drinks and it lasted about 3hrs. We got a long great, lots in common, same age (39). I had a bad cold (true) so he said, instead of kissing me, he'd like to give me a hug and he did. very cute.

I sent an email Monday, thanking him for drinks, and said I had fun. Monday evening, he replied with pretty much the same comments.

He called Tuesday morning, but the reception was bad, so he called about 5 times. We finally chatted for about 5 minutes before getting cut off again. I texted him that I had work to do and maybe we could chat later. By 1030pm, no phone call, so I called him and left a nice message.

Its Thursday and I haven't heard back. I'm 39 and after years of dating have no clue what to do!

Background: he has a very busy job in finance and he's moving his office from Manhattan to the suburbs (where we both live) this weekend.

I don't want to seem desperate or like I am chasing him. I know for a fact that if I wasn't so keen I'd pick up the phone no problem.

But I really dig this guy and am totally perplexed about what to do.



Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I would give him another day or two, then try talking to him again. It sounds like he may be busy with his work. I would give him the benefit of the doubt here.


What Girls Said 1

  • You definitely shouldn't hound him or chase him. It's ok to send him an email or text in the next day or so but don't write anything that needs an answer.

    Say something along the lines of; "Hey Joe, just wanted to say hi and I hope your move is going well! " Call me if you need anything. "

    If he's interested, he'll make an excuse to say he needs your help. But if he's NOT interested, then you can't be accused of pressuring him because all you're offering is the help of a friend.

    • I decided to call. I left a nice message saying that while I know he's busy with the move would he like to get together for a drink or bite to eat or maybe he'd like company unpacking boxes. Then I ended with "if so, or even if not" let me know and left my #.

    • First rule of sales, don't give them a negative option - e. G. "even if not" as it may come across as too care free. Maybe it is just me but it sounds like, "Call me or not, makes no difference to me"

    • Too late. I just wanted him to know that if he can't make it, it's okay to tell me. Sometimes people are afraid to deliver bad news. Whatever. I am who I am & can't be anything else. Worst fear: he met s/o else. Then, there's nothing I could do anyway.

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