If a guy friend asks you for coffee but doesn't offer to pay, is it a date?

A while back a guy friend (not a super close friend) asked to meet up for coffee. We did, and when we went to order and pay there was a hesitation about who was going to pay - he didn't immediately offer to, so to avoid awkwardness I jumped in and told the cashier we'd pay separately (to be fair only $1.50 each). We talked for a good 2-3 hours and hugged goodbye.

I still have no clue if it was a date or not. Any ideas on how to tell if I never asked?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He is still wondering if it was a date or not either. Seriously, I bet you both got the same question lol :)

    If he ran up and insisted he might feel like he's making a date and if you didn't want it to be a date then he's self-conscious about over extending his bounds. If he insisted that you both go dutch then that is like declining a date or dating and being stingy. None of the outcomes are acceptable, so he just locked up. It was convenient you ran up to the cashier and sort of saved it.

    The real thing to think about is how did a 2-3 hour conversation go? How was the hug goodbye? That'll tell you your date right there.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Whether or not it was a date is tough to say. It's possible he wanted it to be a date but wasn't sure if you wanted it to be, which is why he didn't offer to pay right away. I think there's also a chance he considered it just hanging out with a friend, but wasn't sure if he should pay anyways because he asked you or if you had taken it as being a date.

    Personally, if it were me and I at all wanted it to be a date, I'd have just paid for both and would write it off if I thought my friend took it as meaning it was a date and didn't want it to be.

    That being said, I agree with what others have said about basing it more on the conversation and hug. As for what he thinks it was, I would say either he thought of it as hanging out as friends the whole time, or, if he does like you, he may see it as an awkward date attempt that didn't really work out. I would say it's safe to assume he doesn't think it was a "real date".

  • it can be. guys shouldn't have to pay for everything and end up with a "mooch" of a girlfriend.
    I think as far as money is consearned both partners should pay 50/50 for everything they do togther.


What Girls Said 1

  • I think he would have paid, if it was a date, but it sounds like you both were unsure on what the protocol was.