Why doesn't he ask me out if he likes me?

I like this guy. he shows a lot of interest in me but yet he doesn't ask me out! He asked me out when I first met him but I rejected him cause I was in a relationship at the time and I told him we can be friends, and he seemed cool with that.

The only time he asks me out is when he's with my brother or a group of friends, and we all go out together, like he doesn't ask me out on one on one dates. If he were just normal with me then I would just think he just wants to be my friend. But he flirts and shows a ton of interest in me, so that is why I don't get it. He is also not a shy person, so I can't even chalk it up to that. My friends said I am too "reserved" when I don't think that. But what could this mean? Do I have to be the one to ask him out or something? Or does it sound like he is just not interested? Tell me your thoughts on this, thank you! :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Omg! THis sounds just like the situation I'm in! My opinion, is that he might be intimidated by you. SOmetimes I feel like that's the case with what's going on with me, because I can be such an independent person, and have always been used to doing things on my own.

    The next time your around him, try making him feel good about himself. Compliment him on his shirt, jeans, cologne, shoes, exc., or ask him to do something "manly" for you.

    Like opening a jar you can't get open or fixing something, if he's handy.

    Good luck, and let me know what happens between you two!

    • Oh no girl! I am sorry you are in this situation too! But now I am scared, lol. I am scared to ask him out. I know it's stupid I shouldn't be scared about it, but I guess because I don't want to ruin a friendship or have him reject me...oh the irony! lol. But yeah I have been complimenting him lately and trying to make him feel more loose around me, but he isn't budging I might have blwon it with him I don't know. But thank you for the tips and thank you for commenting, and I hope your situation works out as well! :)

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What Guys Said 6

  • He doesn't ask you out cause he's scared of rejection again :) He probably didn't realize or it didn't register to him that he'd been rejected cause you were in a relationship and now he doesn't do it cause you refused him once before :)

    Nah don't ask him out, let him find the courage (and desperation) to ask you out :D It's not that a woman shouldn't ask a guy out (I love it when a girl does too) but in this case let him come to you :)

  • You already rejected him when you were in a relationship, and you rejected him after you were out of a relationship. If you want to get anywhere, it's probably going to have to be you that gets the ball rolling again, because he already gave it his shot.

    • True! I understand. I just am scared now, haha. I know it's ironic, but I am just unsure of how he feels towards me now, so I have no idea what to do, but thank you for commenting! :)

  • There is no such thing as a signal sent by a girl that is clear to a guy. Yes ask him out, alone, probably to a coffee shop or somewhere you can talk. Not a movie though, that is the WORST first real date ever because you can't talk at all. If he is interested, he will say yes to your date eventually, but only ask once. Also be sure that you ask clearly, no hints are ever allowed in a good relationship.

  • You do realize that you rejected him the first time right? Regardless of your circumstances, in his mind he remembers the rejection. You should the initiative now and show him you're interested.

    • Yeah my friends keep pointing that out, they said I rejected him multiple times and even when I was out of the relationship I rejected him. It was only cause I just got out of the relationship and I didn't want to be around any guy at that time, but I have been over that. We only go out with each other when it is with a bunch of friends, we never go out one on one. So I just don't know if I should ask him out or not? Or if I would make a fool out of myself, haha. Cause now I am scared of the rejection, I know it's ironic, and messed up. I feel bad though for rejecting him...too much was going on in my life. But I have no idea what to do! Thank you though for commenting! :)

  • He's afraid of rejection. I think it's your job to ask him out because he's not going to ask you after being rejected.

    • Yeah true! But now I am afraid to ask him out cause I am afraid to be rejected now. I know it's ironic, I just don't know what to do, and I feel bad cause I rejected him, but i'm afraid he won't go out with me cause of that reason. Lol, I am so messed up!

    • Show All
    • Good luck :)

    • Thank you, haha! :)

  • Why don't you just ask him out?

    • I was thinking that, but I don't want to make a fool out of myself, lol. So that is why I am trying to get opinions on this and see what other guys think and such haha. Thank you! :)

    • @Asker

      Your comment is revealing. You don't want to ask him out because you do not want to make a fool of yourself yet that is what you did to him when he asked you out.

    • I know... I feel like a piece of shit! I can see the irony in my response. I do feel bad, and I want him to know that, but in the same breath I don't want to get rejected. I know it's messed up. I don't know what to do!

What Girls Said 0

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