Would you consider this 'unfair'? How should I respond to this?

So, I've been purposefully single for a while...my 'basket' fell apart in September and I'm not one to date when I'm not able to offer the best side of myself. (Though I understand the value of someone willing to be there for you when you're down and out, I prefer to not get too comfortable resting on laurels, and my energy is better spent getting on my feet.
During all of this, there was a guy trying to court me, keeping his distance because I wasn't interested in dating...he paced accordingly. I was interested enough but delaying it to focus on my life, so we didn't get particularly close.
Recently, my life has started snowballing in the right direction, and a friend of a colleague started actively pursuing me, and I haven't put a hold on it because he happened to meet me right as my life came back together. We've talked a lot and now he's hoping for a date this weekend but I admit I feel a little guilty...because this other guy has been paying his due diligence in 'waiting' and his own share of hoping to get a date with me.

Does the first guy deserve an opportunity after having waited patiently as asked, or is all fair in dating? (Neither is specifically better than another, one has just gotten to more actively engage me, the more recent one.)

Hoping this bumps it. Any replies?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You owe Guy A absolutely nothing, so if you like Guy B better than go for Guy B.

    Just because someone waits for you means nothing! If Guy A had been a friend of mine, he'd have gotten the "never wait for anyone, life and time waits for no man" lecture.

    • He's not jaded like that. It was more my own guilt. I'm glad he didn't grow overly attached to the idea. I just felt bad because he was really bad and it's going to be really well if Guy B and I hit it off and end up getting serious. Like I skipped over him unfairly.

    • Show All
    • He doesn't sound interested, but then if I was interested and saw that you were dating someone else, I wouldn't bother either, I'd just chalk it up as a loss and move on which is what he should have done much, much earlier.

    • Thank you for MH. :)

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