How important is romance in a relationship?

I've been running into an interesting phenomenon recently. I have non-paramour girlfriends that I talk to who claim to love a romantic. I tell them all about what I would love to do for my girlfriend when I find her. I'll take her to the beach and have a candle light dinner on the widows walk of the house while the sun sets over the sound. We will go to Florence and bask in the Tuscan sun. I'd bring home flowers for her to let her know I was thinking of her and do my best to never let her forget how beautiful she is.

Now they always swoon over what I say and wish that they had boyfriends like that. Sometimes they have boyfriends, sometimes they don't. Sometimes they are interested in guys that wouldn't do that in a million years.

My question is, how important is romance?

How much does the prospect of romance sway you in choosing someone you want to date?

From what I have seen, for my friends, romance doesn't appear to matter until after the relationship has already begun. What seems to count in the beginning are a few words that make you seem like a great guy. Afterwards come the complaints that he never does anything for her. All he does is play video games or watch sports.

Why is behavior not part of something people seem to look at before deciding to date someone?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think romance becomes the key that holds the relationship together well long after the initial infatuation stage disappears. Romance to me, if beckoned, or given too soon, seems fake or phony. You keep that hidden deep down until you find that real special woman you can share it with, who you know will appreciate it. If you just go giving it around to every girl you date, it's going to not be seen as the rare gift that it is. Keep that for the moment you realize you love the woman and want to spend the rest of your life with her.

    • And then keep up with it on anniversaries, birthdays, job promotions, and date nights.

    • Show All
    • So back off, calm down, and be patient. Got it. Now just need to find that perfect someone.

      I agree with pretty much everything said here. I don't like being asked for romance, it needs to be something, at least remotely, spontaneous. I do my best to not throw it around anywhere, but I also don't believe in hiding myself. I am who I am and that is plain for the world to see. Guess I just need to keep looking for the girl that likes what she sees.

      Thanks for your opinion.

    • Yes That Too. If that is just u. Maybe they're people out there that are into it. I'm just giving my view on it! Good day!

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What Girls Said 4

  • Romance is nice and in theory, I would want it in every relationship. But my current crush who likes me back isn't a romantic at all and I wouldn't change him for the world. He is the type of person who holds the door open and doesn't expect a thank you because it is simply holding the door open. I like how his perspective on things are different, he intrigues me.

    Just the other day in class, I was freezing and was obviously shivering and next thing you know, he puts his scarf on my shoulders. I sat there stunned and said thank you and that was very kind of him. I thought it was the sweetest thing ever, especially since it was HIM doing it. Even though he would think nothing of it, I know deep down he would not have done it for any other girl, he never lets anyone where his stuff. To me, this beats a romantic guy who is always doing these kind of things, as there is no element of surprise.

    • Some might call him a romantic. Most guys I know don't do anything like that. If I like a girl, I do all of those things without thinking about it. The only thing I want in response is a smile. Perhaps he just hasn't gotten to the bigger romantic gestures yet.

    • He isn't though because he's not trying to be romantic, he saw i was cold and he wanted me to be more comfortable so the practical thing is to offer a piece of clothing :)

  • For me that's the most important part of being with someone , if I didn't need romance I wouldn't be in a relationship.

    • I thoroughly enjoy being a romantic. Even after years of dating, seeing her smile is one of the greatest things I could ask for. And I find that the best way of doing that is doing the small things to let her know that I am thinking about her. Like bringing home a flower one day, getting home early to cook her favorite meal, even just sneaking up behind her, spinning her around, and kissing her.

      For me all of that is just fun and something I like to do. But I only want to do it for someone I care about.

  • Romance is needed to establish a relationship. After that I don't need it because then its about the people and hw they handle certain situations. Although I think romance makes a relationship stronger emotionally physically people will not change on how they behave.

  • I started dating my husband because he was the MOST romantic guy I'd ever been with. we spent endless summer days cuddling in the grass and he would search for hours for the perfect flowers, notes and little things.He used to run to me from miles away just to wait outside my bedroom window. our love was like a movie, but now after two years its become so disconnected because he says he's too tired for romance, or that I should be happy without it. It for me is #1 and if a guy won't treat me like the lady I deserve to be treated as I am NOT interested.


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