Confused? he canceled? work? travel? dating isn"t easy ;/?

I travel for a living. I am gone about 10 months of the year. I have known this one guy for about 4 years, he also travels for a living (both in music biz). He has been asking me out for about 2 years. I have never seen him with another girl, none of our friends have seen him with another girl. Finally about 8 months ago I said yes and we went out, not knowing if it was business or pleasure. Didn't hook up the first time but ended up drunk at a bar together about 10 days later and well one thing lead to another and we spent the night together, it was great. The following morning he left the country and I left two days later. It was two months till we would get to see each other again. We kept in touch... so on and so forth. we ended up seeing each other about once a month for 6 months. During this time he would text a little, sometimes not getting back to me for a few days, sometimes right away. He only called me a few times and would say he would and wouldn't. He was at dinners, or meetings or so on, remember no other girls that any of our friends know about. So here I am now 6 months later and we are suppose to have a date as we are in the same city and he calls me day of and cancels. He is having work problems and things are changing but I am about to leave to go overseas for 6 weeks and won't see him. what does this mean? anything. i don't know what to do. i feel like i am chasing something but i hate playing games. do i just pull away and let him come to me. i actually like this guy and haven't liked someone is so long. i don't know what to do and my heart keeps getting disappointed by him. This isn't the first time he canceled. But just three weeks ago when i left town he got me a cute gift and a hand written note. what do i do, i can't stand the heart ache and want to say something but it never feels like the right time. i don't want to be that needy girl but i feel like he is being disrespectful. am i wrong? help...


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What Guys Said 2

  • His work will not change it appears
    and your work is also as honored by you
    therefore the "relationship"suffers
    and your perspective is that only you feel the grief.

    Taking a chance that he might have other gals in other ports, against all observations
    it's really up to you to stiff arm travel to be with him, shoehorned between his work obligations.
    Can your work take a hit once in awhile to be more satisfied?

    Eventually, some mutually satisfying adventures like this MIGHT lead him into doing same = more time together but both works suffer.

    Too bad the stars don't align so that you are traveling together... guess there's no one smart enough to orchestrate that...

  • Well you could just ask him what he wants to do with what you have. Instead of toiling over this and over thinking and not having information, just ask. You could say: Hey I was wondering are we going to be a thing? Are we a thing? Or are we just having a good time? I like you, you obviously like me so why can't we figure something out so we can see each other more or as often as possible. If he went out of his way to get you a gift then he might like you back. But you two seem to be so busy you are really putting a lot of strain on the beginning part of a relationship. But its easiest to talk to him. Otherwise you are going to just sit and wonder and drive yourself crazy.


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