She is using me for attention?

She has a boyfriend who she likes a lot but enjoys attention and gives me attention back as well. We used to text almost daily even up to 8/9 hours a day. She will go alone with me as a friend if I ask her. She knows quite well that I like her. She'll do romantic things as long as they are platonic.

I'm pretty sure she wants me just as a friend and she had made that clear on several occasions, we're extremely close to each other and have extremely good chemistry but sadly she was already taken when I had first met her.

I love this girl and I want to be with her later in life. I can wait for years to be with her.

I'm not sure how to behave with her so that I have a chance with her when she breaks up. I've stopped giving her attention since a week. Should I mildly flirt with her/ remain the way we were/ or remain as a normal friend whilst giving her very less attention.. Grrh I don't know.. I just don't want get to see me as a brother or a friend or anything once she breaks up, I want to have a chance with with her one day.
What should I do? Im pretty depressed these days over this

Go alone to restaurants, for watching movies etc
Also will the jealousy approach work? Or will it draw her away from me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I can relate. Do what's necessary to feel at peace. I had to end the friendship until he was single again. It was a bold move and he wasn't happy about it, but to feel sane, I had to do it. I felt used and hurt and knew his girlfriend was jealous of us. They broke up a few hours after I told him, but he wants space from me... I told him to take his time. Maybe it seems harsh, but take this relationship by the horns and don't let her make you feel insecure. I think I did him a favor by forcing him to evaluate what it means to be in a relationship. People tell me I was wrong, but I know how I felt before I told him and how much better I feel now. If she is making you feel uncomfortable, back away, and she'll be faced with the reality of what she's lost. It may be what she needs to see what a great guy you are and realize that you are the one she should be with. Good luck.

    • I actually ended my friendship with her as well and she didn't want me to. Even her boyfriend had a problem with our friendship but she refused to end it.
      Anyway after ending the friendship I restored it after 4-5 days because I became miserable without her.
      Right now she is showing more interest than me and I keep decreasing my interest towards her. Heh.

    • I am happy that you figured it out. If you don't mind answering, do you think my friend is upset with me? Or do you think he's just trying to get over his ex?

    • Seems like he certainly did not like how you ended the friendship. The break up does seem related to his inviting you over to his place, maybe he wanted someone close to talk to, he must have felt lonely or something.

      Things between me and my crush got normal when I promised her that I won't break my friendship with her again and it was a mistake on part to end it. Maybe something similar could help you as well?

      Let him have space though or you may appear clingy

      Maybe he changed his mind because things between him and his ex got better again?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Just cause she is taken doesn't mean you can't love her, but don't be too pushy and give her a bit less attention. Also if she likes the attention and you suddenly stop it might change her feelings a bit. Maybe your so into her life (since you said your close) she is still imaging to be friends and stay the same in the future, so giving her less attention is a good idea. Also even if you like her, you should wish for her happiness instead of her breaking up, because that will hurt her probably.

  • she's a whore
    you're a whore

  • Leave her the fuck alone she is TAKEN.


What Guys Said 2

  • just avoid her dude you will not know when will she be single again. so she has a bf and flirts with you i guess she has trust issues and by the time you guys are together she will also flirt with other guys without you knowing like her current bf. so it is better for you to find or look other girls so you won't be stuck with her. i know its hard cuz you guys are close but put some boundaries a person who is taken shouldn't be flirting with others i guess the best thing for you to move on is accept that you can't be together this time maybe in the future but watchout she loves to flirt others while in a relationship so she has a high possibility that she would do the same with you. but at the end of the day the choice is all yours do whatever makes you happy... i quite surprised you guys never engaged in sex yet good luck

  • Google "how to escape the friendzone"

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