Was it wrong for him to bring another girl over?

This is very complicated. I was sleeping with my housemate since the beginning of the year and at first it was not clear what we where, we where very close and spent a lot of time together. During this time we have had many fights about him sleeping with my friend and lying about sleeping around and just lying In general and me always being upset. My other housemates are also close to me and have said if it gets out of hand one of us is getting kicked out. In the last two weeks we had decided we where just sex and friends and I knew he was seeing another girl. One night he tells me he feels bad because he and that girl had started going out while we where still sleeping together so we decided to stop.3 days later he brings her over and I flip, I couldn't believe that he would bring her over so soon without talking to me knowing I have strong feelings for him. My other housemates saw this and decided to kick him out because the drama makes them uncomfortable and they don't like seeing me hurt. I didn't really want it to be this way but he doesn't see what he has done wrong. I just needed reasonable time for us to be just friends before having his new girlfriend in my face. I just feel really hurt because I feel I am losing a good friend and also the rejection. He says he should be able to have whoever he wants here, but if he really cared about me as a friend at least he would have given it some time and spoke to me before doing it, especially seeing as I don't get along with her. Do you think I am in the wrong or he is honestly?

Thankyou for your opinions, like I said I did not want him to be kicked out over it, my housemate just saw me crying and asked why and they all decided it was for the best. all I wanted was for him to be a bit more considerate and talk to me first.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well... I'm a guy so my opinion is going to be slanted from my perspective...

    1) If you both agree'd that you were just "friends with benefits" then you have no right to be upset with him. As far as he could tell everything was cool. It would like if one of his buddies was upset that he was sleeping with girl... it would make no sense. Notice that being "friends with benefits" assumes you're first friends? Friends don't get upset and jealous about other friends.

    2) If you're going to sleep with a roommate be sure establish the ground rules. It sounds like you both talked it out and declared you were sex buddies AND he made it clear he was dating someone else. Seems clear. And yet you became upset again... soooooo.. that's weird.

    I can appreciate that you have no control over how you FEEL, and so if you're jealous then you're jealous. But you DO have control over how you act and behave.

    I have a sister-in-law who likes to yell and cry and blame the world for it's endless injustices while gossiping about how bad everyone is to her. And so everyone tip toes around her in order to keep her happy, and it's disgusting.

    It's gross when someone behaves overly sensitive and outwardly dramatic in order to get their way. It's a childish type of bullying and it'll leave you depressed and constantly upset.

    I recommend you don't become like my sister in law.

    But if you're on here asking for advice then you're likely already heading in the right direction. :D

    ~ Robby


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What Guys Said 3

  • He did actually talk to you about this since you guys made the decision not to have sex anymore, this is kinda like telling you directly that they are serious, if they were not he wouldn't have cared. You and him were never actually dating, this is the risk when you go in to a friends with benefits relationship, at some point it ends in tears. in my believes you are not wrong but neither right, this is just a mix of circumstances that took a wrong turn because people who shouldn't interfere actually did. This will take some effort, a right amount of luck and some time, don't overload him with texts, wait for him to contact you, if he doesn't within about 7 days, text him without adding drama.

    I hope you guys work things out

  • Well that's kind of the consequence you have when you sleep with a guy that you have feelings for when you don't know if he feels the same way about you. He made it clear from the start he was not interested in anything serious.

  • I don't think it was wrong for him to bring a girl over. He had officially called things with you to a stop.

    There's nothing in the rules of men/women interaction that says you have to wait a period of time after a breakup, before you can get with someone else and bring them over to your room.


What Girls Said 1

  • Sorry I don't think he's wrong. Maybe a little insensitive but definitely not wrong.

    You have both made it clear what you are to each other. Time to live with those decisions. I do feel you tho. It hurts especially when you really like him.