Photo album titled "friends who are female"... to trust or not to trust?

So, my boyfriend and I disagree... how would you feel if your bf/gf had a photo album on their phone devoted to ex's/old friends/past hookups and it was just photos of those people alone? How about naked photos people had sent them in the past? And how about if they had screenshots from snapchats of the opposite ex in a bathing suit captioned "ass and titties?" Thanks, just need to know if I am being insecure/irrational or if I am not alone in being both bothered and concerned about trusting him. I can see where some people like to keep photos they took of someone or whatever to remind them that that stuff happened but at the same time I think "memories" are in your head and once you're in a committed relationship the photo evidence of the past is irrelevant. I definitely can't side with him on nudes or screenshots of other girls though. Where do you stand?

Also, I approached him about it. He said he had the album because it's memories and just there to remind him any of it happened, same with the nudes girls had sent him. But he deleted them all b/c
I brought it up. Not the rxn I was hoping for. But as for the current screenshots/now deleted photos he said when he's with his guy friends that's how they "bullshit" by joking about it all and being like "hey look at this photo I got from this girl"


Most Helpful Guy

  • If my girlfriend had an album of past boyfriends and the pictures were slightly provocative (ex. Shirtless), then I would assume she still had feelings for that ex-boyfriend and I would know she hasn't fallen for me yet. I'd guard my heart. If my girlfriend had pictures of naked past boyfriends then I would break up with her because I would know where I stand with her.
    You aren't being insecure for having a problem with your boyfriend having these pictured. You are being insecure for not demanding more respect and establishing boundaries in your relationship. Is he the one, or isn't he?
    Respect yourself and you will find a guy to do the same. If this one won't, then release him to all his nakef girlfriends

    • Thanks! See, I said that! I said how would you feel if it were me with the photos regardless of who they were to me or why I had the photos. He said he wouldn't even know they were on my phone b/c he trusts me enough to not snoop...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah... he's big time in the wrong lol

  • Lol yeah fk that who keeps photos of their ex's In a album.

    • I agree. Not even exes really.. past hookups, girls he liked/liked him, "just friends," etc. Feels the same to me.

What Girls Said 1

  • I recently found photos of a hookup my boyfriend had before we met. She was always clothed but posing suggestively. It didn't bother me until I recently found that she is still sending them. Their one nighter was over a year ago I didn't know they were even still talking. So yea I have issues with it. He doesn't save photos of me so why is he saving photos of her? She's in another country does he miss her that much? He's promised they aren't talking anymore blah blah blah like every guy does. I haven't decided what I'm doing yet.

    Sorry I'm not much help for ya. Men seem unable to be faithful to one woman. They will always have some excuse for why what they are doing isn't cheating or isn't that bad.

    Women should be lesbians and ignore men completely or agree that monogamy is out. Then we can all cheat and it would be normal.

    I may be a little bitter right now sorry.

    • I'm sorry to hear that :( but nah girl I agree. I trust him, and there's an album on his phone of pics of just me or the two of us so that counts for a lot I think. I don't think he's completely wrong, I mean I'm not close to perfect, but what really upset me was that he didn't seem able to understand why I was bothered about them. Instead of being like "hey I validate your concerns, but this is why I felt the need to keep them, they mean nothing and if it really upsets you lets go through them and talk about why. etc etc" like I said I don't see the need for photo evidence of the past if you're now in a solid relationship, memories are internal and most people don't just forget the past that easily.