Do I chase or sit back and wait?

Recently met up with a girl, we got on great, including bedroom fun, but since our date, she has seemed distant and cancelled a date.

She does text, but not as often, saying stuff like "we're not going to be a fat couple" and other stuff about us being a couple. She seems a bit on word answer too, so I don't bother to reply. Some hours later, she send a text like "haven't heard from you for hours... what's that about?"

So really, I get the idea she might be playing hard to get and checking out her options elsewhere?

Not sure what you guys / girls think, but would love to have some help.



Most Helpful Girl

  • I think she's wary because things went on in the bedroom, I think you should always reply to her texts and be the one to initiate conversation even if it's simple things like "Do you have anything planned for the weekend?"
    I do agree with the other users, it seems like she's trying to avoid coming off too keen, as I believe men can find that and be an unattractive quality. I'd keep on chasing if I were you, seems like what she wants!
    Good luck :)

    • Thanks for your comments. The one word texts get me though? Would should expect me to reinitiate with something else? Sometime I don't get a reply from her for hours?

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    • And whilst I'm feeling confident, I'll just mention "she did take my top with her, when she went home"

    • I'd say she was into you, these are all things I do when I'm serious about someone, would you care to pursue a relationship with her?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • The way I see it there are two options:

    One- she's high maintenance. (pretty self explanatory)
    Two- she's playing hard to get because she wants to have the upper hand and doesn't want to get hurt.

    Let her know you're into her but keep her wanting more, like don't lay it all on the plate and be super clingy, but drop her a few hints. (e. g. text her good morning/goodnight something as simple as "good morning gorgeous, have a good day") can really make a girl like you. Don't stop texting her unless you say your goodbyes (no one likes their texting buddy to go MIA).

  • Early on, it's really on the guy to show his interest and down the road contact should even out but don't be passive and wait for her.

  • Its easy to say she wants closure on what happend on your date she wants to know if you guys should be a couple or not.

    • How do you mean?

    • It looks she wants a relationship but she doesn't know how you feel because you dont reply and because its hard for her to read you.

    • When I don't reply, it's only because she hasn't seemed interested. Its interesting what you say though, as she said this to me last night "i'm interested in your brain, just i'd like to know what you think & shit"

  • Call her! Text her! She sounds unsure of what happened too soon. She might be holding back because she's worried you don't like her as much. Always reply to a text, if you don't if will come off as rude and like you couldn't be bothered.

    • I always do reply to her text, but have become less keen, purely because she has come across as less keen. When she gives one word answers, what do you do... I don't want to seem too keen as that might put her off?

    • I think people should act how they feel and then there's no question of sending mixed signals. Personally if I like someone I call, text etc.. Whenever I want. If it's meant to be the guy will respond positively.

  • she might like you but isn't trying to be clingy in case you decide you dont like her much and just diss her. she's trying to save her emotions from being hurt because she feels vulnerable if she had sex with you and not in a relationship, no girl really feels secure like that. So she's being kinda distant b/c she has no reassurance what you're really doing or where its going

    • I like the answer, thank you. But how do I show her, without seeming too desperate myself? I know it can be off putting?

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    • but what about cancelling our last date? she was ill? Should I ask her again?

    • probably just playing hard to get.. or was truly ill. yeah ask her again just wait a little bit for her to recover

What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like she likes you but is maybe just not a great conversationalist?

    All the couple talk shows that she's definitely into you.

    • Thanks. She was a great conversationalist though.. that's the odd thing? But still talks about couple type things?

    • Maybe not great at talking through text?
      I'm not sure. One word answers are usually a hint to leave someone alone, but she digs you.

      Not really sure lol.

    • Thanks again. One final thing, she cancelled our last date Wednesday, didn't feel well, should it be for her to re arrange a date or should I?