Unsure of first relationship, currently in LDR due to school break?

I got into my first relationship at the end of April, just weeks before the school vacation. I could see him as someone my parents would love but I'm not as head over heels for him compared to how my other friends are with their SO.

He confessed his feelings for me last December but told me that he was still confused with this other girl, so I didn't mind it at all since I didn't have feelings for him to begin with. Then, a few days ago, I learned from a friend that just a week before he started pursuing me at the start of March, he was still confused with his past "almost" relationship. And a mutual friend thought that I was already falling for him then, so my friend told him about my supposed feelings. During that time, I still had feelings left for one of his friends whom I had a fling with in the previous year (which everyone knows), thus there might have been a confusion on who's liking who.

Come March and April, I did develop feelings for my SO. I could totally see ourselves in the long run, compared to the other flings I've been in - which is why I committed to the relationship. But now all I could think about is how we might just be each other's rebound to begin with. I feel insecure. It might be either because of long distance or being both our first relationship.

I did tell him that I'm confused at the moment, and he understood, saying we might just need space. But he would still initiate conversations online. Our classes will resume on August so we still have over a month away from each other.

A typical "it's not you, it's me" problem. I really don't know what to do til then.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Take it very slow. If it is a rebound thing, being slow will weed that out. If not then you may be able to continue after you both know your not each others rebounds.

    • How slow is very slow? :)

    • Show All
    • We'll try. Perhaps we did go a little too fast because we've known each other prior to our relationship and even prior our previous flings.

    • thanks for the mh

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Are you in boarding school or something?

    • We go to university, around 300 miles from my place.

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    • I do see him in the long run. We've known each other for more than a year now, and he still makes these bad jokes just as how he used to prior to the relationship. It's one thing that I hate about him before and we've talked about it when we were still just friends, but I couldn't avoid it now that we talk everyday. His jokes tend to make me feel bad unintentionally, though he's now more cautious about it. Also why I feel unsure about this whole relationship.

    • If you feel unsure maybe it's best to move on. There are plenty of guys out there that would be lucky to have you and not make you feel bad either so go out and find them!

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