Is it bad that dating him doesn't feel like anything different than when we were friends? Or is that good?

I've been good friends w/ a guy for a while. We finally decided to start dating... but so far it doesn't feel any different. Should it? I mean, before we were dating we were always really close. We stayed up all night talking, cuddling, wrestling, joking, sharing secrets. I guess we were kind of always emotionally dating? So we added in the kissing... we haven't done anything else. I really really enjoy my time with him... but it doesn't feel any different than it used to. We used to grab a drink together, used to go to lunch or dinner together. Idk. It's comfortable and I like it, but it's not like... exciting? Maybe that's a sign that we're mature? Idk, it's not like that high school love where I'm trying to predict everything he's thinking. I just genuinely enjoy spending time with him.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • That's a tough one!! One of the best thing about relationships is that exciting time when you first start dating someone. Since you two were close friends already, maybe some of that is lost. You probably won't really know for sure until your relationship gets more physical. I've gotten drunk with close girlfriends and made out with them before and it didn't change anything. I would think by changing the nature of your relationship it would add some excitement to things, but if it doesn't I don't know that it means it's not right. You'll figure it out as you go. But, even if I started dating one of my closest girlfriends, I would want her to feel excitement about me.

    • Right, maybe being more physical will change things. I'm actually really nervous to do anything w/ him b/c I like him so much that if he ever let I'd be pretty devastated. It's not that I'm not excited... it's just that it's like... I don't have to meet his parents b/c they know me... I don't have to idk, try to mold into his family b/c I kind of already fit? Idk! I'm not sure what I feel. I'm afraid to go further in case it's not meant to be, but I'm not sure if I can imagine anything better all at the same time?

    • Those are all good things though. Knowing his family and fitting in is a big deal. Do whatever you're comfortable with. I'm actually surprised you haven't already though. It usually comes pretty natural. I'll give you an example. I had know this girl for about 3 years. We were always just friends. Tehn one night we went out drinking, ran back to her place in a rain storm, were soaking wet. So we get back to her place and we have a drink and then go to bed. We always slept in the same bed together and nothing ever happened. Well that night it did. Best sex I've ever had in my life. I think because I knew her and was close with her. We ended up seeing each other for a bit and then she moved and got into a long-term relationship. We are still close to this day and now that she is single again, we are planning a trip together. Point is, if you guys are super close friends, nothing will ruin that. You might take a break from each others lives, but you will always be important to each other.

    • We had dated in the past and I broke up w/ him... so we're taking it REALLY slow. I broke up w/ him b/c I liked someone else at the same time... It was complicated. I was also afraid if we ever broke up that it would hurt our older siblings who were best friends at the time. I was young, it was kind of dumb. Also, people thought he was creepy haha and I was young enough that I thought it mattered... but that was almost 10 years ago

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What Girls Said 1

  • Okay so I've been where you are like exactly where you are and I thought there would be more excitement until I realized we were practically dating before we were dating lol if that makes sense! But I don't think it's a bad thing at all it just means that you two were more before you started going out and it's not bad at all! And if you enjoy spending time with him that's all that matters don't worry it's okay that nothing's changed as long as he's not controlling or crazy now then you're good (:

    • Yes! That's exactly what it feels like. It feels like we were always dating and always had chemistry. It's weird though, kissing him just feels normal. Not boring, but just normal? I feel like he's such a keeper and yet... I don't feel like being w/ him is some new big exciting adventure... I don't have to meet the parents, I know the parents, the siblings like me? Eh?