Confusion about reconnecting with an ex boyfriend?

About a month ago I saw my ex we were together off and on for about a year. last time we dated it lasted a week, Id been seeing his best friend and he was just getting a divorce (couple months ealier he left me and remarried his exwife) I told him it was just a bad time, I was still upset about what he'd done and he needed to heal and grow up some before we could be together, he was beyond pissed I'd been with his friend. After the breakup we spent almost a month arguing and lets just say it ended on bad terms would be putting it lightly.
So its been about 8 months he's went back to and left his wife again, me and the friend broke up, about a week after I saw him I sent him a Facebook message saying I'd been thinking about him since I saw him, I did him wrong before, I wanted to call for a while but didn't have the guts, I hate the way things happened, when we were good together we realy were good and it kills me that when he wanted a real chance I wouldn't give him one etc. He was in jail when I sent it he got out mon and called a few hours later we talked about an hour then I went to his place we sit in the car and talked till I had to go to work weve been out 3 times since he called and we have plans tonight. Its going really well but I have no idea what we are doing, I realize the best thing to do is talk to him but it seems to early for that its only been a couple days. The first time we had dinner we were both talking about our exes he pointed it out and now have an agreement not to talk about them. In the past weve dated but weve also just been friends and friends with benefits so I know how is in different relationships. He talks and acts like were together but we haven't even kissed he's introducing me as a friend (he did that for a while when we first started dating). he's on a super religous kick right now which explains not trying anything. We breifly talked about sex he said he isn't sure if he has the willpower to be around me. any ideas


Most Helpful Girl

  • Being this May be a 'Sign from God,' as I do believe He has a way of Intervening in a 'Delicate and uncanny' situation such as this one is, go slow for now. Start Fresh as Friends right now. The best relationships always begin their beguine with friendship, nursing and nurturing for something possibly even Better to come.
    So much has happened, you both need to take it slow... Don't over think it, don't over Talk it, just let things go easy this time. You both have made some mistakes, you both have Now learned from them... And----You are Now both breaking bread again. This is good in my Good book.
    No one really knows what our destiny is going to be. All we can do is wait and see what happens and... if it is meant to be... it will Be..
    Good luck, God bless. xx

    • I don't have a problem with being friends for now and seeing what happens. I guess I'm more concerned with knowing what the rules are for lack of a better term. We really have had a lot happen this is just the short version of the last episode in what has been a very long drama, its pretty obvious our feelings haven't changed and I know we are both very capable of devastating the other and I dont want that to happen either. I guess to itd be nice to know if were going back down the rabbit hole before we hit the bottom of it because weve done it without realizing it before as well.

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    • It is but at this point in my life im not afraid to admit its bc we are both pretty dysfunctional with very odd past from childhood sexual and physical abuse to abusive relationships trust issues family issues commitment issues all on both sides it makes it difficult were also both parents of kid s from previous relationships both with autistic step children our entire lives are filled with this tpe of drama neither of us have ever had any type of relationship with anyone romantic friend or family before each other where the other person didn't want anything where they just wanted us I guess so it makes it hard for us bc its all new for us both and can be really hard to accept and terrifying its hard to explain but thanks

    • So much in common... Yes, time will tellxx

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