Majority of guys are just after hookups or one night stands, right now I'm off sex so guys lose interest with me. Fed up being lonely but grown attached to the idea I may live out to my old age alone. Is it me that's the problem?
Most Helpful Guy
It's smart not to be into hook-ups/ONS/FWB if what you really want is a real relationship, BUT, almost no guy is interested in a sexless relationship either. I'm unclear what you mean when you say you are "off sex", but this is what I tell most girls:
Make it a rule for yourself that you don't have sex outside of official, committed relationships, and make that rule widely known about you, especially to guys who are interested in dating you. Most guys will lose interest, because sex is all they wanted. A few "player types" will try to get you to break your rule and have casual sex, and you have to kick them to the curb. The guys who are really interested in a relationship with you will be happy to wait a little while, until you've established the relationship, for sex.
The reason this is hard for so many girls is because when an attractive guy shows interest in them, they get afraid to "lose" him by refusing casual sex, so they give in, and of course, get used just for sex. Then they resent all guys, when really, they were the ones who broke their own rule. If you have the strength to stand behind your rule, even if it means letting a guy you are really attracted to (but who only wants sex) go, then the chances if you having a good relationship go way up.
Also, you STILL have to make an effort to find guys, which means meeting a lot of them and getting to know the better candidates. You can't sit at home alone and get a BF - you have to go out and make an effort. Think about it like you would if you were hiring an employee for an important job: you'd get several hundred resumes, interview 20 of the best ones, bring 5 or 6 back for a second interview, and finally prepare offers for the top 2 candidates (one as a backup). You could look at that as a "sub 1% success rate" or you can look at it as doing a lot of work to find the best person for the job.0