Tell me how to figure out my relationship issues?

hey so i have this terrible mind sabotage thing where as soon as i realize a guy i like likes me back and we even get close to having a relationship, i start freaking out and thinking he's either gonna change his mind, or i will change my mind and then a bunch of awkward crap will happen and ill have to break it off, or that he will turn out to be a total creeper. Please dont tell me how not all guys are like this and to give each one a chance or ill never know. its not the boys that have a problem (most of the time) its me. i think as soon as i get into a relationship or admit my feelings, everything will change and be different, like hell act awkward or i will or... i dont know. i dont know what relationships, good relatiomships are supposed to look like... please help:(


Most Helpful Guy

  • yea your mind fucking yourself. Its the What if game lol... which can and will go on forever. I mean it sounds like your not comfortable with yourself. You just don't want to lose special moments with guys. Or when a special moment does happen you'll do something the next day to ruin it and you'll never get the feeling back.
    That way of thinking just sucks.

    anyone will tell you that your way of thinking needs to change. Relationships start with trust and an understanding of each other. gotta know the person your with. Its the friends you call at 4 am that matter yah know. And then love, when you care about someone's happiness more than your own. Don't think of everything all at once though. Just think of today and so on and so forth. Because your just gonna keep playing the same game... and you don't want that.
    its nerve racking. But if you fall in love right away... it has a chance of you getting clingy... especially if the dude your with hasn't been with you that long. You know your going to see the guy again. If you had a good night, its not like if he was gone for 2 days or so thats it. Because i know you'd probably be off the walls with different answers and reasons and that isn't healthy.

    by the way my bro has he same problem lol


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Have you been hurt or abused before? my last love interedt was and the more i tried to proove my devotion and sicerity the more she grew cold &detatched... i think you assume that every guy will be the same? dont feel bad... im always ruining my chances by expressing my feelings too soon for fear she wouldn't think i was interested and leave... and in reality she leaves because i tried to keep her from leaving... i guess your just gonna have to find a guy... and deliberately be scientific with him and make him your test case where you deliberately stick by him just to see what happens... and perhaps the results of this test will make you more hopeful about relationships in the future... im just now beginning to want test myself to see if acting less interested will change my results...


What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't focus on it too much, honestly. I had all these fears with dating and I would avoid dating guys I liked (who liked me back) because of those fears. Eventually i got so close to a guy where we talked all the time, and i felt comfortable, that when it came down to the "should we date?", he was right there to put my fears away because I felt the risk of getting hurt was worth the reward. If you haven't found that person that makes you go "I'll risk it all", than you haven't found them, and maybe you shouldn't be dating yet. Also you're under 18 so even though the pressure is there, seriously, take your time.

    If you get to be in your twenties and you still have all these same irrational fears and haven't found someone you've fallen for and risked it for than maybe see a psychologist, because a great psychologist will be able to retrace your roots and figure out where these anxieties came from.