I think im just trying to hard?

So im 22 and in january-february i dated a great guy but things didn't go as i wanted because he wasn't looking for anything serious.
Since dating him I've been a bit desperate to find someone else to fall for.. to feel needed and loved.. i try dating guys and "forcing" myself to like someone and taking anything..
I know its bad and i know i can't force it but i feel like everyone around me is in love and in relationship and im missing out..

I have waited so long.. never had a boyfriend and i just want someone to spend my time with.
I know people say you need to be able to be happy alone and i am happy alone but sometimes it gets to lonley.. i have no one to go home to or to talk to.. and it gets lonley and boring..
How to just remain calm and patient? i know i know get a hobby etc I've tried it all.. work , friends.. staying busy but when you go to bed at nights you feel so alone.

I really dont want to force a relationship.. i want to fall in love and i want it to come when i dont expect it.. all that real lovey dovey.. im secure in myself but i feel like guys want all the wrong things these days.. and i hate going to clubs


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You need to find a guy with confidence and doesn't care about what any body says and doesn't dress, walk, and talk the same as other guys and confidence doesn't mean acting all tough and defensive and thinking he can beat up any guy who he passes by.


What Girls Said 1

  • Okay, relax. You're only 22. I understand the loneliness, I've been alone since birth. All my sisters and friends have boyfriends--some have girlfriends--and it gets lonely being the one without a boyfriend. While that's true, however, I would not force something that doesn't exist. No ship can sail without the proper parts. You get what I'm saying?

    Go where you enjoy going to meet people with interests that align to yours. Be confident in yourself and just know you're going to find someone. It doesn't hurt to show you're looking for a committed relationship, but a committed relationship does not come from halfhearted feelings and force.

    Some suggestions I have is to maybe exercise if you don't. Exercise, in any form (even cleaning), can be just enough to help you take the edge off of any frustrations you have. Not to mention, it cures boredom and gets/keeps you in shape at the same time. Two birds one stone. Karaoke is another fantastic form of frustration relief. Vent through songs, even if singing isn't your forte. Trust me, I can't sing at all but I karaoke like crazy. Lastly, read a good book or write a short story--or even a novel if you so desire. Even if you're stories never amount to anything, you're getting thoughts out of your head, you're putting words on paper. Even if you only do journal entries or blog posts. Sometimes it feels good to speak about things with strangers. Sometimes it feels good to privately vent to a notebook.

    • I do run alot. I write diaries, so i know how to vent and all that. At the same time i dont know what to do if i get a boyfriend.. i dont think i want one but at the same time i do? like its nice having someone there for you.. people always end up leaving me or just taking me for granted

    • I feel the same way. I want one, but I'm not about to force something that isn't there. In a relationship--I've had none, this is all in theory--you should be able to voice your opinions. Stand up for your own beliefs and share your own feelings. You might come off as uninteresting if you go with the flow and ignore your own feelings or thoughts. This could lead someone to think that it's okay to take advantage of you. Don't always go for the bill, split it if you have to. Set ground rules. View yourself as something to be won so they will too. You absolutely have to have confidence in yourself, and don't confuse that for arrogance.

      I see it like this. If they'e consistently using you, you're laying yourself out like a rug to be walked on. If they're consistently leaving you, there is not enough connection and interest to keep him hooked. Of course, feelings should play a huge role. There has to be mutual feelings between both parties.

    • Also, I missed one sentence there. You're feeling lonely and you want to find a boyfriend, however you're not quite there yet. You're scared of getting in a relationship but for some reason you desire it more than anything else?

      Does that hit the mark? Or is it not fear?