Went from talking to a (shy) girl with almost guaranteed mutual attraction to no contact suddenly... What happened and what do I do?

Met a girl. Seemed to like me. We've been texting for a while now and despite the fact she was self-described as "very shy", she constantly sent <3's, comments like I'm charming, and a plethora of ;)

A few weeks ago she invited me to her house for a movie. I was ecstatic, but my mom made me cancel. She didn't approve. The girl said it was totally fine. Kept talking and both wanted a reschedule.

A few weeks later, I asked if she was free a day. No reply. I texted her a week later apologizing if that made her feel awkward. She replied saying she did because she didn't know how to reply. But it wasn't my fault at all. So I said *she* can let me know when she was free. She agreed and was happy I was so understanding.

School ending, I'd text her sporadically, checking in on her because her mom limited phone use during finals. I said we should do something soon. She wants to, but she couldn't till summer. Totally understandable.

A few days before her vacation, I was texting her. I said let me know when she was free when summer started. She sent a long message saying I was the nicest person for being so accommodating and understanding. Made me happy

She's now on summer. In a week, she leaves for the 4th of July. My work vacation matched a few days before she leaves. Small opportunity to see her. I was in her town one of her first days of summer. I said short notice, but I was in the neighborhood if she'd want to get together later. If not it was totally fine, and I hope that didn’t make her awkward. Just an idea. No reply.

Due to advice by friends, next day I told her of my vacation and I'd love to see her before she leaves. If she's too busy, I completely understand. No response. That was 3 days ago.

Went from texting a lot and apparent mutual liking to nothing.. My friends said despite her shyness, I didn't screw anything up. What happened? What do I do? I'm so disheartened, and it sucks this is suddenly over apparently. I don't want it to be

Still nothing :(
I just don't understand... I'm so puzzled and so disappointed...


Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all her mom sounds like a total B... she probly doesn't want to make her mom angry/upset so maybe thats why she doesn't talk to you anymore? Sounds like you guys went through a lot of trouble trying to make plans, she probly thought it was just too hard/complicated... OR she's found somebody else :/... dont beat yourself up you didn't do anything wrong and find yourself someone who has the time for you :)

    • Yeah... It's just disheartening because I just got out of unrequited love with one of my best friends for almost a year. Tried to date and shit happened (she was selfish and other stuff). Haven't seen her in a few months since I ended our friendship (the third and final time). Miss her every day, despite my adamant trying to meet others. I meet this new girl and I she seems everything I wanted. Now I am shit out of luck again. Sorry for ranting, I'm just disappointed haha... But thanks for the reply. It's appreciated. So you don't think I can or should do anything? I don't want to end like this but you think I shouldn't? (sorry haha)

    • ya I would end it she's not worth your time... she doesn't even reply to your texts so thats not a good sign sorry :/

    • Thanks. And okay, I'll just stop talking to her then. It sucks and honestly, I really don't want to haha... But maybe she'll text me (I'm not counting on it. But I'm hopeful. Despite that I know I shouldn't be). I'm hoping I find someone soon. Never had a girlfriend before and thought I was so close with me being in love with my friend a while back, and people said back then "You'll find someone better". And I thought I did here. Disheartening is the only word that springs to mind.

      I'm sorry for venting to you haha. It's not your problem. But I appreciate your reply. Really I do

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I think it's over. When you didn't show up she probably thought that you couldn't be trusted.

    • Didn't show up? No, what happened was she offered a day, I agreed, but during plan making, I had to cancel because of reasons stated above. I told her I had to cancel, and was very apologetic, and she completely understood. If I just did a no show, I'd be an asshole and she *deserves* to stop contact with without question. I'd do the same for anyone who pulls a no-show with me. Totally justified response. But that's not what happened

    • Show All
    • That's a theory, but frankly, I don't think that's what happened. I don't think *anybody* would ditch a friendship (or potentially more) because you couldn't make a day work. Yeah, I could see if I was a no show on the day of, but this was during planning of the day, a week in advance. Plus, that was back in May. Two months later this happens. Whole I appreciate the input, I don't believe that happened.

    • *while

What Guys Said 2

  • that looks a lot like my past experiences, maybe you're being to nice and apart from that, girls are crazy, let her be unhappy with her craziness if she won't find a person who looks after her in a future it's going to be her problem for being that way.

    • I appreciate your post. But I fucking hate that notion of "Nice guys get shit on, and being too nice is a turn off". While most people bitch about the "friendzone", I hate that term because it's bullshit. And being" too nice" doesn't land you there. It's a term used to describe a nonexistent place to pin blame on the other person for when your attraction isn't reciprocated. I'm a nice person, yes. But I'm not the type that's like "I held a door open for a girl, and even tipped my Fedora. Why isn't she having sex with me? Friendzoned again!"
      I'm nice because that's who I am. Not because that's what I'm fabricating to try to get an edge or guilt a girl into attraction. Or think she "owes" me. I didn't do that with this girl. And if being *genuinely* nice is a "step backward" in attracting some women, I won't be with someone who doesn't like me for me.

      Sorry for ranting. Sensitive subject for me haha. But I truly appreciate your reply. Thank you.

  • She may have changed her mind o made up her mind about you which involves her not calling you.

    • I hope not. That was a sudden mind change then. But it's a possibility. One that I hope *isn't* true, but maybe. Thanks for the input.