Should I lie to my mother about spending the night at my boyfriend's house?

I want to spend the night at my boyfriend's house, but I'm afraid my mother will say no. My dad said he doesn't want to get involved, and for me to ask my mom. I have a very good relationship with my parents; however, my mom can get pretty iffy on some things even though my dad is more lenient. I'm 19 and work, so it's not like I'm bumming around. I pay for school, and I do help out around the house. If the answer is no, then it's no. I'm just wondering if in this case I should lie to my mother and tell her that I'm going over a friend's house instead of telling her where I'm really going?

  • Yeah, lie to her.
    Vote A
  • No, be up front and tell the truth.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are 19 years old! Who you have sex with is no one's business but yours, and you should never discuss it with anyone. Sex harms no one, is good for self-esteem, and is lots of fun. Always use a condom and choose discreet males who will not be telling everyone they bonked you.

    You may lie to your mother if you wish to avoid a confrontation. But the time has arrived for you to take charge of your life as an adult despite living with your parents (as I assume you do). You can naively tell the truth and meekly allow your mother to dominate your social and sexual existence until you are 30 or so or until she dies.

    Sexual issues do not qualify as moral issues when they involve consenting adults, and your mother is not part of that equation. You can solve the matter by frank confrontation with her or become an old maid. Thank your lucky stars that you live in the Western Hemisphere in the 21st Century in a place and time when women may control their own lives and are not ruled by religious fanaticism or their parents tribal affiliation. Have all the sex you want and give a bit of thought to those women who face clitoridectomies, honor killings, and stonings for adultery if they even think about unauthorized sex. Unused freedoms are undeserved freedoms.

    • Thanks for the advice!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • honesty is always the best policy..
    and sounds like you have fairly good family communication anyways

    • True, true. Might as well. Thank you!

  • In my experience I was dishonest and I got burned. It is up to you, but I strongly urge you not to lie.

    • Thank you for the advice!

    • yep no problem, eventually your lies catch up to you and even if they don't they still affect you detrimentally. good luck =)

  • My parents are very open so i can tell them my intentions and they'll tell me to wear a condom. If you really want to spend time with your boyfriend while potentially sacrificing your parents trust, then go ahead. We should enjoy things while we're young :) of course, while taking precautions.

    • Well, I asked my mother and she said to go ask my dad. Not sure how to go about this now since they both said to talk to the other.

What Girls Said 3

  • u seem responsible and you are an adult after all, just let them know they can confide in you, you kind of surprised me when you said that it was your FATHER who didn't want to be involved though, normally i would of thought it would have been the other way around :P just talk to them both about it, maybe at the same time, with calmness and sincerity, they will apreciate how you took your time to ask them even though you can practically do what you want. try it :)

    • It's funny, because I asked my mom and she said to talk to my father. At this point, I'm not really sure if that is their way of saying do what you want if both are saying to ask the other.

    • Show All
    • Haha, I might as well. xD Thanks for the advice!

    • ahah anytime, gd luck!! xD

  • I think you should tell her the truth because once you start lying it's easy to keep doing it and it becomes a cycle. I would never ever imagine asking my dad to do something like that (I wasn't even allowed to go to a boys house for a class meeting even though a parent was going to chaperone)... so it sounds like you have pretty open minded awesome parents. If your mom says no... you can still go anyways... or you can just tell her you are going not ask her.

    I know from experience that lying isn't a good way to go especially with BFs... I've been lying to my parents that I go over my BFs house for the past 2 years... and lying that I have a BF... it's one lie after another... so it's not a good habit to get into... especially because your parents seem pretty chill.

    • They are. Just that it's harder to convince my mother. Thanks for the advice!

  • If you lie to her, you will lose her trust and to regain a mothers trust well good luck so no be up front with her and tell her the truth and if she says no well she has a right to - you still because it sounds like you live under her roof and you do have to abide by her rules and trust me I know its unfair - I have been there when I lied to her and it took me more than a year for her to trust me again and I have been there when I told her the truth and she let me do whatever it is I wanted to do and other times she said no but turns out it was really for the best because where I wanted to go - lets just say the place was swarming with cops... mother knows best

    • I don't want my mom to lose trust in me, so I'll be up front. Thanks for the advice!

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