Why did he ask permission from me to go?

I've been dating this guy for 5 months or so now. We are exclusive and getting more and more serious. We haven't officially labeled the title to the public but all of our close friends/family know we are an item.

Yesterday, he called me and said he had something to talk about which made me nervous. He asked me if I would be ok with him flying to New York for the 4th of July to visit a buddy. (we live in the midwest) I told him that he could do whatever he wanted and that a trip like that would be fun. He would leave on Friday morning and be back Sunday. I obviously said I would be bummed not spending the holiday weekend with him but you can't pass up a trip to New York. I told him that I was totally cool with whatever he decided it.

In the past guys that I have dated will just do their own thing without even consulting me. So why did he ask for permission basically? Was this a test to see how I would react? I take it this is a good sign and he respects me and my feelings.

He didn't end up going anyways :-) I think it may have been a bit of a test to see how I would react.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel, that in this stage of your relationship, he Respected you enough, Thought of you enough to Ask 'if it would be ok' so he could get your input, and know he could Go with a clear mind and body that you would be----OK with it.
    Very considerate, very loyal. He sounds like a keeper, and guys like this don't come along every day. Although you may be disappointed, just know, that there are plenty More July fourths in which you both can enjoy once you finally become----Official.
    I don't know if he so much thought it a 'Test,' but in my book You have Passed My Test... Good work, sweetie.
    Good luck. xx

    • Thank you for your answer! Very good point that there will be plenty more 4th of July's and holidays in general to spend together. He still has not told me if he is for sure going or not. He was undecided last night even after I gave permission so I have no idea what he will plan to do.

    • Go with the flow and soon enough I'm sure He will let you know Some more... xx

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • He wanted you to know why he was leaving and where. That way if it came up later, no one could say it was suspicious and accuse him if cheating. Not that he was.

  • Because you are special...


What Girls Said 2

  • I think he is just being respectful of you and your wishes. Whenever I go on trips, even short ones, I ask my partner if he would be okay with it. I do it because I want him to know that I value his feelings, and if he really didn't want me to be going, I would be willing to comprise. With it being 4th of July, I'm sure he wanted to double check, to make sure it didn't seem that he was blowing you off, as that is a pretty family oriented holiday

    • This is what I was thinking but it's nice to get a second opinion on things to reconfirm. Like I said in a couple other responses that even after I told him that he could do whatever he wanted he still didn't know what he wanted to do. I assume he will go because when you are getting a free plane ticket, why wouldn't you jump at the opportunity? I would but I'd also be bummed leaving my S. O. during a holiday weekend that we both had off of work. We planned to spend a lot of time together this weekend but I don't blame him for wanting to go.

  • Because anything that goes on that weekend it will ultimately be with your permission "honey you told me it was ok to come, I didn't know she was coming along too"

    • I'm not real worried about other girls if that is what you mean. I do trust him and that he is happy with me. He will be flying thousands of miles away and if he were to meet someone it would be a pointless waste of time for him to start something with someone out there. It just wouldn't make logic sense. Plus if he wanted to be single or act single then he would be the type to straight up tell me that versus leading me on. We discussed that sort of thing. He would have to live with himself and a guilty conscious if he did something stupid while he is gone for the weekend.

    • Show All
    • I hope he goes. If it was my boyfriend I would pack his back and lock the door. He should have fun with the guys once in a while

    • Dont listen to her, I'm. Sure that's not what he is intending.

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