What should I do and why do I think this sometimes?

What should I believe and how can i deal with this? My bf and i have been dating for almost 11 months. I moved in with him after 2 months of dating because he is the one that asked me to. We fight more then most couples who have been dating this long because i have trust issues due to ex bfs. And sometimes i feel i can't trust him. Because when he drinks he sometimes flirts and looks at other girls. He seems to get turned on easily and he says i only think it because I dont trust him. He has told me he would never cheat on me. I don't know if I am bipolar or depressed. Sometimes I am fine and I know he wouldn't cheat on me but then other times all I can think about is if he has cheated on me. Like this week we have fought quite a bit and I have told him i can't take it anymore because of everything that goes through my head. He tells me to quit thinking it because I think stuff thats not even true. He sometimes tells me he wants to marry me and but then other times he doesn't say anything. Like when we first started dating he would call me his wife once in awhile and now he doesnt. Couple weeks ago we were driving and our song by george straight came on and he said were going to play this at our wedding. I just get confused sometimes because I dont know if he really means it or not. Please help me and what should I believe? And why do I think he has cheated on me sometimes and sometimes I believe he hasnt? I have trust issues and am insecure.


Most Helpful Guy

  • One thing you have to take into consideration here is that your bf is not your exes. You can't hold the sins of the past bfs against him. Im not saying not to be cautious, but I am saying that you need to calm down about this. If he respects you and your relationship he isn't going to cheat on you. Also it sounds like you tend to fall into that downward spiral of thinking where the idea pops into your head that he is going to cheat and you jump to conclusions.
    You need to figure out if you want this to work, if you want it to work then you need to work on yourself and work together to make the relationship work. Honestly if you two are going to make it you have to fix your trust issues and he has to support you to make it easier for you. But if you dont you are going to sink your relationship due to your own issues. At this point you are burning down the house to keep yourself warm, in regards to trying to protect yourself. The issue here is that you doing this is going to hurt things with him, patience is a virtue, but everyone runs out at some point.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Dump him and date me simples


What Girls Said 2

  • You believe he will cheat on you because you have trust issues and you are insecure. Thats something that you need to work out on your own. He should not be burdened with these emotions because he has done nothing wrong. He's innocent until proven guilty, for the sake of your relationship you should give him the benefit of the doubt.

    As for his mentioning of "marriage this" "wife that", I would tell him whether or not marriage is something you want to work towards, so if he's not serious about it you can leave him and stop wasting your time.

    You should have confidence in him and trust him, you're his girlfriend because he cares for you and wants to be with you, always acknowledge that. I don't think you have anything to worry about, but work through issues with yourself so they don't take a toll on your relationship. I wish you the best of luck :)

  • While I think you made a big mistake moving in so soon with him, it does sound like he really cares for you. Most guys don't throw around a big thing like marriage so easily. I would investigate what marriage means to him and what he expects the relationship to be like in that respect. Some of your issues sound more personal than directly his fault, you should consider talking to a counselor just as someone to help sprt out your thoughts