Am I a rebound girl? He just broke up with his live-in ex.

I started dating someone I met recently. The first time we met was in a group situation where he mentioned he had moved out because of a breakup. However, we clicked when we talked one-on-one, and ever since he hasn't brought up the ex/the move, though I picked up that they had lived together for at least a year! I have no idea how recent the break up was or how long the relationship was, though the move was around two weeks ago.

I enjoy his company and he mine, we've kissed, we talk every night, etc. But I just have this nagging feeling that I'm just a rebound. I know this is all insecurity talking, but I can't get it out of my mind, and we've just started dating so obviously I can't talk to him about it (even if it was later on, asking about it seems futile because who would admit that they're dating someone else as a rebound?).

This rebound thing in my head is not all-consuming - I still have fun with him, but I know I'm being a lot more walled than usual because I know about his past, and I don't want to be the rebound girl. How do I feel him out? What should I do? Should I slow things down?


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  • I think the only way to know if this is serious is time and therefore slowing things down would be a really good idea, don't rush into anything with him at all. Keep it slow and let your relationship with him build bit by bit and layer by layer, because if you build your relationship slowly with him, you will be able to pick out details and get to know more about him and his real intentions.

    Whereas, if you rush you will be rushing into the inevitable, as you being a rebound could well and surely be a fact since he only left his long-term relationship recently. Also slowing things will let him get to know you more, appreciating you for who you are, and not relating you to his ex as a rebound. It's building value too, because even -if- you possibly are a rebound girl it can always change for the better over time too.

    Take things slow, keep dating and don't let him rush. The way you can usually tell if you are a rebound is by him wanting to take things further quite quickly, to make up for what he has lost in his previous relationship, as he would be missing qualities from that.

    I hope things start going well for you.


  • Only time will tell. I met a guy who was actaully living with his ex for two years, they broke up, five months later me and him met, and it was really intense everything seems to be going well, then BOOM, he said the dreaded "im not over my ex" I would be could very well be a rebound, and they will NEVER admit it.

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