How do you deal w/ passing "point of no return" in finding love?

I'm kind of struggling w/ my situation, and would like some insight...

I'm reaching my late 20s, and I've still never had a girlfriend in my life. I had to endure some pretty vile abuse growing up (sexual and emotional abuse), and I've struggled to "fix myself" to the point where I'm worth loving

I went through life feeling like relationships were suppose to be something intimate and meaningful, but I've found people just have a whimsical meaningless perspective towards dating... I'm really confused b/c I feel like all I can hope for is being the guy a girl settles down w/ once she's tired of sleeping/partying around, and I kind of want more out of life than that... like, I'd like to be a girl's first BF, and be w/ a girl as inexperienced as me

however, it doesn't seem like it'll ever happen. I'm trying different ways of meeting girls (online, coffee shops, salsa dancing, going out at night to live music venues, exc), and I'm not having any success. I keep trying to work on myself or changing how I approach it, yet nothing seems to work

I kind of feel like I've passed the point of no return, like I'm just exhausted and I've objectively exhausted all my options for meeting someone

On top of that, I feel like I'm kind of bitter at how hard I have to work to "fix myself" before anyone will think I'm worth noticing... i kind of "Get it" and know that women are incapable of loving a weak or truly broken man, I get that... and I'm coming to terms w/ how empty human attachment is... and idk, I'm just exhausted...

I'm trying to figure out how to keep going or what to do. I'm worn down, exhausted and just tired...


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  • Dude, get into a church. Involve yourself with church groups doing things they do as a community. If you want innocence that is your best bet, proverbially speaking. I have met some very innocent women, still in the 30+ range. They have their share of worldly women but the innocent ones will be there not salsa dancing. Good luck... One piece of advice God showed me...

    Divine Wisdom dictates there are three kinds of relationships. The first is inhabited by two takers, short lived at best. When one or the other is done taking it is over. The second relationship is inhabited by a taker an a giver. It can go on for a very long time. The taker will take as long as the giver can give. The giver needs to be given to or they will eventually be sucked dry. This relationship is doomed to failure due to the fact it is unequally balanced. The last relationship is inhabited by two givers, HEAVEN on earth. Two people trying to out give each other. If you are not in a relationship that consists of two givers then I suggest you keep looking for the right relationship, it will save you a bunch of heart ache...

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