Guys, have you ever sabotaged a relationship for this reason (either intentionally or unintentionally).
Met a guy recently who is about 12 years older, has children, the women he's dated have been his age and about average in looks. He's never moved from his home town, doesn't have any formal education outside of high school. He can also be a bit of a difficult personality. However, he's very physically attractive, had a thirst for knowledge, and a life experience and way of listening/interacting that I found very attractive. Plus, he seemed ready to be serious.
I, like I said, am 12 years younger. Not to be cocky, but much more attractive than his exes. About to graduate with my second degree. Have traveled. Am about to move an hour from his hometown soon. No children. And based on his words: Intelligent, funny, mature, and he felt drawn to me.
He'd let his guard down and revealed he was worried about being hurt, that I was playing a game with him, or that I'd give up on him after I moved. Then he picked fights whenever we'd have a great day, and then came a cockiness about how maybe I am too young for him, too immature, and found a ridiculous excuse to break things off as soon as I fell for him the way he wanted me to (at first I'd been apprehensive). While he was doing so, he seemed emotionally invested, said he thought this was right and that I was right for him, but still broke it off over something stupid (nothing bad I did) and has not reached out since.
Did he sabotage this on purpose? Did he really not like me/think I'm too immature? Or was this just his way of avoiding being hurt?
Most Helpful Girl
Same exact thing happened to me a few months ago. First of all, you said he had a difficult personality which means he's probably unstable and/ or emotionally unavailable. Was he ever married? The guy I dated was one year fresh off a divorce so he was very guarded and had not completely gotten over his ex. He dumped me for a dumb reason too. This guy sounds like he was non committal from the start - guys use excuses like " I don't want to get hurt" crap as a way of staying aloof. He probably really liked you but wanted to keep his options open. Doesn't matter how pretty or smart you are (I was WAY better looking than my ex or any of his past GF's). It probably has nothing to do with you at all, it's his own stuff. Ignore him and don't chase him. You'll hear from him soon, trust me.0