Should I tell this guy I like him, although I'm not really sure, if he likes me back?

Hi, I've got a crush on a guy I've become friends with quite recently. We met on a website that helps you find a new dancing partner. We agreed to meet in person, because we seemed to have a lot in common. And it was grat meeting him, we got along really well and after we danced at this party for a while, he suggested we should get a drink. He also insisted on paying for it. We talked until three a. m. and afterwards he drove me home. Over the next two weeks we kept contact via text messages, we always text until late at night, because we talk about everything. We met a second and a third time then, without going dancing, we just sat at a cafe or at his university and talked for 14 hours. He touches me frequently, not very obvious, but he does it and he considered the way I'm clumpsy sometimes cute. I know this sounds pretty good but here's the thing: he mentioned that he still hasn't gotten over his last girlfriend who broke up with him over a year ago. He doesn't mention her all the time, but she does come up once in a while and I think this is not really a good sign. Also, when we talked about dates in general, there was a moment when he gave the impresion that he was thinking about whether this could be a date, but when I was hinting that I might consider this a date, he didn't react. But he also told me that he was really bad at picking up signals, so maybe he just didn't get that I was trying to tell him something. I know, I haven't known him that long, but it feels like we've know each other for ages and I'm pretty sure he feels the same about this. I'm just not sure, whether he likes me the same way I like him, because of this whole exgirlfriend thing. I don't want to ruin our new friendship, so I wanted to at least wait a little longer to see how things are developing, but eventually I would like to tell him, so I can have some closure. So what do you think about this?

Thank you all for your advice, but as it turned out he told me he liked me before I even got the chance to tell him. But thanks to everyone who answered.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah. I think you should. Some guys just cannot pick up on these signals, but that don't mean they aren't interested in you. This is especially true of guys who are younger, or have been out of the dating scene for a long time.

    Tell him you're interested, or at least really ramp up the attraction signals that you've been sending him. The worst thing in the world that could happen is he isn't interested in that way. That means nothing really changes. If that is the worst possible outcome when you tell him you want to be with him, that's not bad.

    Give it a try. He'll be flattered, if nothing else. Good luck.

    • Thank you for your answer. Now I just have to think of a good way to tell him.

    • Show All
    • Well, I don't know about the last part. I think I'm lucky if I get through this conversation without making a complete fool out of myself and without starting to stutter. The tip with the clothes is really good though.

    • Don't overthink that last part. I'm not saying touch him between his legs while you are trying to make out with him. lol

      Just observe a woman sometime when she is in the company of a man she's attracted to. She touches his hands and arms. Quick, light strokes and touches. Kisses on the cheek. Leans in and talks softly in his ear. You don't have to go into overdrive to show your interest. But if he can't read the low key signals you've been giving out, then you gotta ramp it up a bit until he gets it.

      Don't worry about "making a fool out of yourself." EVEN IF he don't respond how you want him to, it's great practice for when you are in the company of a man who WILL respond the way you want him to. And it could even be THIS man down the road, if not right now.

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  • It would be extremely unlikely that he only wants to be friends (he has guy friends), so 99 percent chance he likes you back, and seeing as he mentioned he is bad at picking up signals, he is likely just shy and you should tell him you like him.

  • You should go for it and if he isn't then he was sending mixed signals