How do I embrace my type and find girls who like me?

I'm a bit on the introverted side, but I handle social situations ok, I just mean I'm not overflowing with friends and such to find people to date easily.

I work very hard at what I do, I am going to be going into a tough, but well-paid profession that eats up a lot of time. I am structured and take my responsibilities seriously. If a girl is looking for a provider/stable person, I am the definition of it. But it seems like the girls I like are the opposite of me, they like to smoke weed and blow off work and not worry so much about anything. I think I like these people because they calm me down, and I need that. But these girls don't like me. I think I'm too close to "the man" everyone wants to fight and rebel against.

If I am indeed on the road to becoming part of "the man", I suppose I'll never find my anarchist punk princess. So what kind of person would like me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Look for girls in better venues. Tons of creative, free spirited people are also responsible and have ambition. I think your black and white thinking on this is limiting.

    Hiking/nature events
    Art shows
    Craft brewery

    • My city does a monthly art crawl that all the creative types love attending. I do too! Its always a fun time. My question would be, though, how on Earth do I approach these people? I mean most are in groups or already coupled up. Is that an appropriate place to try and strike up a conversation with a stranger? Would that even work?

    • Sometimes you can volunteer to work a few hours, which gives you an easy excuse to talk to other volunteers and make small talk with attendees and vendors/artists. If it's monthly, that's even better because repeat interactions help make connections.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • This is when they are younger. When they are older they will die for a stable and supportive guy with a good job but will discover they are too drugged up to get one.

    • Sheesh, thats what it seems like, but I'm young now! Haha, I don't want to have to wait around to date.

  • I know you said that you're about to be in a position where you won't have a lot of free time, but with the little free time that you do have, use it doing things that you enjoy that would also give you opportunities to meet women who would share that same interest. Join a gym, book club, take a class, go to a wine or beer tasting, see if there are any dating events in your area that you could attend (speed dating, blind dates, etc.), maybe even try using a dating site.


What Guys Said 2

  • Care if I ask, why do you pursue girls like that when you seem to have your life in order?

    • I dunno. I guess because they aren't boring? They can usually hold an intelligent conversation for hours. They've had crazy lives with interesting stories.
      Part of me wants that life I guess, but the majority refuses to let myself strive for anything less than the best I can do.

    • I understand.

      You may just have to wait until they finish up their party days and start looking to settle down.

  • I hear you. I like more adventurous, creative, beautiful, playful, philosophical intelligent women as well. They're so fascinating. But I also want to get a decent job someday until I am able to make money on my own somehow. I don't live a life of breaking the law and doing stupid crap, and I don't want to either.

    Unfortunately, these women that I like seem to go after thuggish guys that make a big show of themselves. It's hard, because I'm not into the women on my level. They're nice and trustworthy and all that but are usually only average in terms of looks, and not very interesting to talk to. They're just plain, ordinary people.