Why is my gf telling me this in a message?

We went on three dates in three days. She was so into me telling me you are amazing. We would kiss all the time. And she loved it. We went to a baseball field 3rd date and laid down next to each other. After that night she told me best date she ever had in her life. I asked her to be my gf and she said yes.

So Sun AM comes and its all still good. Told me she could come to my game that evening and was excited to see me. Later that after noon she tells me something with her friend came up and couldn't make it Rain check? . Im like ok no problem.

She than send me this text message ::::

Hey this doesn't mean I don't wanna date you but I feel like we started dating too quick. I was talking to my parents and friends last night and I just need to go on a few dates with you and be myself for a bit. I do really like you but I need to move at molasses speed cuz I keep getting hurt.

What is she telling me? What did I do wrong here? We where having a great time together. To top it all off she is back online dating site and she never replied to me since 3 pm yesterday.

So cheating on me or what? Should I leave her be? I mean too fast? Some people have sex on 1st date. Confused.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hate to be the one to point these out but all these scream disinterest:

    - "Later that after noon she tells me something with her friend came up and couldn't make it Rain check": She broke a date with unspecified plans last minute.

    - "I do really like you but I need to move at molasses speed cuz I keep getting hurt.": To me that's another way of saying "I'm not interested (anymore)."

    - "To top it all off she is back online dating site and she never replied to me since 3 pm yesterday.": Nail in the coffin?

    From an observer's standpoint it looks pretty obvious but do as you'd like.

    If you ask me, if she were really (still) interested these things wouldn't have happened. If you care to listen, my advice is to you is: lick your wounds and move on.

    • What makes no sense to me is how earlier that day she was so excited to see me? Did she have a change of heart in those two hours? We went on a date Friday night and she told me the best that she ever had . Does that make any sense to you? Or did she lose interest in those two hours?

    • It's been said that women are confusing but her actions are not.

      Like I said man, do as you'd like but this is my opinion on your situation. I have no reason to sabotage it but am trying to help; it's a war, buddy.

      Good luck!

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What Girls Said 2

  • I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone after only 3 dates, so I understand where she is coming from. I would back off a little bit. Keep on pursuing her, but don't make her feel trapped.
    As far as your statement about sex on a first date, the key word is "some." If she is telling you she needs to move slower, that is exactly what she means. It could even mean that she wants to invest more time in you. She doesn't want to lead you on any more than she wants you to lead her on, so she wants to be 100% certain in you two's compatibility. I would respect her for taking a step back!

    • Well she wanted to be with me no one else she told me. The texts I would get from her where all positive. Like she tells me are personalities are so alike and its awesome. She told me best date even and stuff like that, Is it over? I won't bother with her any more. Just kinda sad. Ill wait for her to want to see me. Best thing I can think of now.

  • I'd say don't leave her be unless you want to let the relationship die off. Maybe tell her that you think about the online dating part. Don't call her your girlfriend until she's comfortable with it. Keep doing what you're doing without the labels. Let her see your still awesome and if she wants slow support that.

    • yeah but she was so into me 3 days in a row we saw each other. Dont get what happened. told me she never would hurt me and stuff like that

    • And she probably won't hurt you but maybe she's been hurt. I've never been hurt before and I took my relationship with my boyfriend as slow as molasses. Like seriously slow. We've been doing great for nearly two years. I think he's great and we had an amazing time for a long time but we still took it slow. She's still into you more likely than not but told take it slower by her parents and girl friends.

    • My only thing is why she still online? That's one thing I just don't understand. telling me last date greatest date ever in her life

What Guys Said 1

  • You didn't do anything wrong, she started telling all her friends about you and how amazing you were, and they probably responded with "and so how long have you known this guy? maybe you should slow down..."

    Friends of your gf are usually your enemy and usually try and temper the relationship because they have put up with breakups in the past.

    And the dating website thing... I dunno. Thats confusing, and I wouldn't like it either.

    I'm right with you though, I don't get the point of moving slow. Screw everything else, move at the pace that seems fun!

    • should i just leave her be? Let her come to me?

    • Show All
    • I don't think so, but I don't know her and girls can be hella confusing.

      If you met her online, maybe you go and be active! Change a pic or something to let her know you can do the same stuff she can.

    • Will I ever hear from again lol? So weird