My boyfriend doesn't want to move in with me, yet?

My bf and I have been together for almost a year now but it's long distance because we're 2 hrs apart. We see each other a few time a month but it still hurts being so far away from him. He's 20, I'm 19 and he's said before he wants me to love with him but last night he confessed he just wasn't ready. Tbh it kinda stung a bit, how Shld I take it? Is a yr too soon?

  • He's just not ready
    Vote A
  • Give it another 6-12 months
    Vote B
  • He doesn't see it lasting
    Vote C
  • He has other reasons?
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, he's just not ready, and at your age and his age, that's for the best. No reason to give up on him. As long as you two are still able to make time to go see each other, make the most of that time together.

    It's likely a commitment thing, but it could be numerous other reasons, too. Maybe his current living situation is comfortable. Maybe his current living situation is financially beneficial. Maybe he's anticipating major changes soon in his life, and he need the safety net of what he has now. Is he looking at major changes at work, or going to school, or finishing school. Does he tend to worry about money and bills? Has he already had a living arrangement with a girlfriend in his life before you that went badly? Or has he had bad roommates before?

    Definitely talk to him, and find out what his concerns are, and get an idea of what his short-term future plans are for himself (as opposed to you two as a couple). If his answers don't make sense to you, then you'll need to figure out what he's trying to say a different way.

    • That's good advice! Thank you. He says he's worried we'd fight which is funny because we never fight. I think his parents' divorce has a lot to do with his concerns. I agree that now is probably not the best time for either of us. I just wish he hadn't suggested it and got me thinking but I think the way it is is best for now.

    • What you just told me makes sense. He's still young, so his parents divorcing happened relatively recently (even if he was really young when it happened).

      The fact that both of you are willing to take a little more cautious approach to living together before signing a lease speaks well to both of you.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • barely a year long relationship and long distance already and 19 and 20:P haha yeah too soon and too young IMHO. but doesn't make it impossible. just give him some time.

    • Lol ya you're right, it just threw me off because he's the one that said he wanted me to move in & then last night happened

  • He could be afraid to make change, he isn't ready to live with you

  • commitment issues maybe


What Girls Said 1

  • He said he's not ready so that means he's not ready. I'm not surprised. You've ONLY been together for a year. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we don't live together, nor do we have any plans/desire to live together any time soon. We'll live together when we decide we're getting married.

    So don't push him.

    • I wouldn't ever pressure him into anything, it's just a little difficult long distance & I just wanna be sure it's all for the right reasons