Guys, help! I like this girl, but?

Ok, here's the deal, this girl I work with, just graduated from a neighboring high school, her and I have gotten to be really good friends. I like this girl. Thing is, she's got a baby. She told me the backstory as to how and why she's got a kid, and she's 19, a year older than I am, but anyway, her ex used her, and after he got what he wanted, he took off and left her pregnant, and every single one of her friends and even my friends will back her up on it. Here's the question. Since I do like her and all, should I ask her out on a date? Yes, or no? Feel free to leave comments, opinions, advice, etc. Thanks.

  • Yes, ask her out!
    Vote A
  • No, man. Forget it.
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • As a girl im gonna answer this honestly. Im sure she would LOVE to be with you. But if i was 19 and had a baby i would assume that every single guy that dates me, wants to be the new father of my child. If you dont plan on marrying her someday, dont do it. She might think that you want to be the new father of her kid and then once u guys break up (if you do) she's going to assume u left her because of the kid and blah blah blah. I know that its hard not to date her because you really like her and im sorry, but if you dont want to be a father right now its not a good idea. Plus that kid is gonna think of you as a dad, and if anything goes wrong, itll be bad not only for her, but for the child too :(. So if you really like her and think itll last really long and you want to be a father, go for it :) If not, then dont. Remember now that she's got a kid you're not only part of HER life, but part of the kids life too :/


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I would say to go ahead and ask her out on a date. However you need to keep into consideration that dating someone with a kid takes a lot more responsibility. If she is a good mother then she wouldn't consider bringing just any guy into her home. I personally know this because my mom was a single mother. I always remembered her being cautious on who she dated because each guy had to be responsible enough to care for a child.

    • She's told me so much about her kid, even his name, which is Landon, which in my honest opinion, is a great name for a kid, and one you don't hear often. I have taken the fact that she does have a child into consideration, and she does tell me she misses him quite often when she's at work, and she spends every minute she can with him, which I think is the most precious thing ever. Also, I don't know too many girls who have had children due to unplanned childbirth that have decided to step up to the plate and raise the child, and not just give him/her up for adoption, or worse: abort him/her. To me, that speaks volumes of her, her maturity, her strength, and I admire that, I really do.

    • I'll agree that any woman who decides to raise a child on her own is a strong woman. When my step dad came in my life. He was emotionally and financially ready to help support me and my mom. I know from seeing him that falling in love with a woman that has a child can be a wonderful thing because you can start to love the child too. But you just have to be ready to take on the responsibility that comes with it.

    • As far as the emotional aspect is concerned, seeing as I'm still only 18, I'm feeling that I am, but at the same time I'm feeling that I'm not ready, as far as the financial stuff is concerned, well, needless to say I drive a 1991 Chevy Suburban and most of my money goes towards gas, insurance, and if needed, replacement parts.

What Guys Said 3

  • Not yet. First, she's carrying baggage, you're young (a kid really) and you've got a lot to experience. A girl with a baby is an emotional burden, I would first get to know her a little better. Second, I'd watch out, if anything happens wrong in that relationship, you're going to have trouble returning to work. So if you want, date her a few times, but don't rush it, I mean back off from a kiss if you have to, but just get to know exactly where she stands (you don't want to be hitting your head against a wall).

  • I don't know what are the reasons why you shouldn't since you do like her, are you scared of financial crisis? If not, fuckin' go ahead dude.

    • Don't overthink you're going to be this baby's dad. just focus on your interactions with her during the dates.

  • Depends. Are you ready to be a daddy?

    • Not quite, considering I'm only 18 and I've still got senior year to go.

    • Then don't do it. Her situation is unfortunate, but relationships can go 1 of 2 ways.
      1. You break up.
      2. You end up being together forever.
      You're not ready to be a dad, so option 2 is off the table for now. So you want to date with the intention of breaking up?

      Wait it out. Maybe things will mesh together in a few years better when you're ready for that kind of responsibility.