How long should I wait for her? She said she isn't ready yet..

I have known this girl since October of 2008. I finally decided to talk to her more and really get to know her in March of 2009. We would talk everyday, hang out in groups a lot, and her and I would go on dates. In May I finally asked her out, (after confirming through her friend that she liked me). She said yes to being in a relationship with me and said she was happy. Then a few days later said she wanted to take it slow. I was ok with that. But I was confused.

So I asked her what she meant exactly and she said that she isn't sure if she is ready for a relationship right now but still wants us to hang out more. She also said she is unsure if she is afraid of getting hurt or doesn't want to be tied down. She also acknowledged that she feels bad that I shouldn't have to wait for her and it isn't fair but she doesn't know how long it will take. I was OK with waiting for her.

After telling each other that we liked each other, from then on, hanging out was a little different. It was just awkward and I just didn't "feel" it as much. She still gives me subtle hints now and then saying that she thinks I'm cute and stuff but its been 2 months since she said she isn't ready.

My question is, should I bring it up to her again and ask her how she's feeling about us? Or should I just let her come to me if/when she is ready, The ball is kind of in her court I think but I'm becoming impatient with not knowing what's going on.

MORE INFO, her last relationship ended over a year ago, and she dated that guy for 2 years and it didn't end well. Could she still be hung up on that after over a year?



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What Girls Said 1

  • She may still be hung up on her ex, only she can confirm that. I think she likes the idea of getting attention from another guy and feeling secure that she is still worth dating. It seems like you have given her time and she still doesn't want a relationship for the reasons she has given you, those are her issue and she needs to deal with them, appreciate her honesty, and perhaps stop hanging out together especially if the vibe is no longer there. Get on with your life...and let her get on with hers without you. Don't pin all your hopes on this one girl.

    • Yeah I agree. I don't think she dated anyone between him and me so she probably wants attention subconciously but is still hurt by her ex and is afraid of getting hurt. I'm gonna put this as modestly as possible, but I think I'm a nice guy and have treated her well and given her no reasons to think I would ever hurt her, which I wouldnt, but for some reason she's probably still afraid of getting hurt. you're right, it's HER issues she needs to work out, there's nothing I can do really.

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