How to tell him I lied about my age?

Ok, I know I'm not the first young woman to do this, but let me tell you a little bit about myself and the story behind this question.

I was an extremely bright kid. Because of this, I was pushed ahead in school and accustomed to always being "the youngest". I matured at an extremely fast rate to the point where my own grad class was too immature for me. I tend to hang out and get along with people much older than I.

I make more money than most people my age, I'm technically a double major in school, a semester ahead in school, and "partying" is not my idea of "fun".

So, the story. For the first time ever, I gave in to peer pressure and made a "tinder" account. I thought hey, why not, might be fun. Because I am 1.5-2yrs younger than my grad class, I lied about my age on Facebook when I originally created it, so tinder shows me as being "21" when I'm really "19". I met this awesome 33yr old. He is very sweet, respectful, and far from "pushy". We talked for months and I finally agreed to meet him in person. He treated me to a lovely dinner and we had a fabulous time.

The problem is, he assumes I'm 21 when I'm only 19. He knows I do not drink, and respects that, but he even states "21" is the biggest age gap he has ever dated due to his belief that younger women are still wild and immature. He likes me so much that he wants to see me again, but I feel guilty for not telling him my "tinder" age is incorrect: I honestly didn't think I would meet someone that I actually like and connect with.

What should I do, and how should I do it?
I'll feed into this peer pressure once more to fix everything :).

(Sorry it's long)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Lying about your age is just about the worst thing you can do. Chances are, this won't recover.

    Regardless... why do you want a 33 year old? Age is NOT just a number. That's absolutely silly when people say that. There are exceptions, but... at 19, I don't care how "mature" you think you are, it's not mature enough to be dating a 33 year old. That comes with A LOT of complications. Just don't do it.

    • Right. And I agree, I was skeptical initially as most people would be, but it's not about proving my maturity. I don't have to try, I'm simply myself. My parents also have a large age gap, and they're still together and happy.
      I know it isn't the "social norm" but it happens.

    • Show All
    • Thank you for MH!!! :)

    • Anytime! You were constructive and made a lot of good points!

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You sound really immature to be honest. I'm 19, a year ahead, but I don't deceive myself into thinking that I'm above everyone's maturity level. Sure, I get along with older people to a greater degree, but past a certain age intelligence only allows so much wisdom. You obviously haven't realized that, maybe you're a bit myopic but I honestly think you're just cocky.

    Tell him straight up, he'll probably realize he can use you for sex and pursue you from that angle.

    I don't enjoy parties and I'm 19. You act like we're all morons.

    • What he said ^^^

    • Show All
    • And what if he's a sensitive man? Maturity doesn't strip away ones emotions. You're playing with fire, but people are nothing more to you than toys it would seem.

    • He's not. :)
      Bye again!

  • You tell him you lied, and hope that he doesn't care. Just tell him "I have something to tell you, I'm not 21, I'm only 19". You have to then hope that he won't care. I personally would. If she's lying about her age, what else is she or will she lie about


What Girls Said 3

  • Just straight out tell him how old you are... and if he questions it tell him you forgot how old you are... I'm serious... my BF actually did this to me before we were dating... he told me he just turned 25... but in reality had just turned 24. My mutual friend told him that I wouldn't date him if he was younger than 25..(I just turned 28 at the time) he lied so that I'd at least give him a chance... I went months thinking he was 25 until he left his wallet in my car overnight... and found out from his drivers licence... he told me he forgot his age. I knew he was lying... but let it slide... as long as he promised not to lie about anything else... but if he didn't I wouldn't have given him a chance so I''m glad he did... so maybe that's how your guy will think about it

    • Haha awee! But 24-25 isn't as serious as 19 (about to turn 20) and 21!

    • Well... yeah... you have two years difference... but basically the same idea... good luck! As someone at the other end of this situation... if he really likes you he'll be able to over look this

  • Just be honest and tell him your reasons for doing so

  • Honesty is the best policy. he's already in to you. Just be honest with him as you would expect him to be with you. :)