Dating w/Poor Posture - Mild Awkwardness?

Throughout my life I've always heard that people who slouch must think poorly of themselves. Maybe they're insecure, nervous, or just weak. I was just wondering how common that perception truly is and whether or not my options really are limited.

I am what is called a hunchback if you throw Greek medical terminology out the window. Poor posture is just something that I need to accept and live with. I do feel good about myself, I take good care of myself and appearance, I'm also committed to working out every single day to strength my core muscles to limit possible back injury, and I certainly do not look like a monster by any stretch of the imagination. I just look a bit awkward plain and simple.

I'm a little apprehensive about the bad vibes my posture gives off. I just ended a nasty relationship with the typical remarks, "You're nothing without me. You're going to die alone. Etc." There were a few bad things said about the way I carry myself... And how screwed I am because of a medical condition. I just want some down to earth and honest replies about the topic.



Most Helpful Girl

  • My posture has always been horrible. When I see pictures of myself I'm shocked at how curved my spine is. I also have downward sloping, fairly narrow shoulders, which makes it look worse. I have a quite a few back problems.

    In 5th grade, I was told I walked like a duck, and a graduation photo proved this. So I somehow taught myself to walk upright. Now, if I remember my posture and sit or stand properly, it hurts and is straining. Even if I can stand it, a couple of minutes later, I realise my slouching has returned.

    We had scoliosis testing in 7th grade. I passed, but now I feel like my spine is curved. My doctors have never said anything.

    It's possible my slouching and back issues got worse after a car accident.

    No one has mentioned it, surprisingly (except some random old lady once, I think); I guess they're more distracted by how skinny I look.

    I think perhaps low self esteem or introversion can increase the chances of poor posture but I highly doubt the two are mutually exclusive.

    I'm pretty sure humans are naturally supposed to slouch a tiny bit. The spine makes it look that way.

    • I meant "designed to slouch a bit"
      But I accidently pressed submit before I could edit.

    • Funny you should mention walking like a duck. I often walk like shaggy from scooby doo myself, haha. My hunch is far less noticeable if I sort of lean back and push out my stomach while walking. I actually need to stop myself and think about what I'm doing before lifting weights because standing like this is an incredibly horrible idea. Let me just say as somebody with both kyphosis and scoliosis that some of the more mild slouching can be overcome. I've never allowed these conditions dictate for me what to do with own my life and today I work in healthcare in a rather physically demanding job. It's definitely a good idea to speak with your doctor about that car accident/slouching. Physical therapy has been awesome for me and it definitely helps manage and prevent future back problems.

      Best of luck!

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What Girls Said 2

  • I am confident and people tend to comment on my good posture. But I don't think it's to do with confidence as I practice yoga a lot.. If your concerned about your posture you should try taking a beginners yoga class in your area maybe? But I don't think it's confidence at all really it's more a habit of sitting slouched over, in my opinion :)

  • I think it depends why a person's posture isn't straight. I had no problem dating someone with poor posture if their reason was a medical one, or habit, or the way their shoulders are built. But if he was slouching because he's very shy, embarrassed of himself or lacks confidence I'd probably not be attracted. I learned a long time ago to never judge anyone until you know them.

    As for those hurtful words, that's really uncalled for! In one ear and into the trash!

    My honest opinion. :)

    • Ps. Can you message me Pls...

    • I really appreciate your kind words. I'm definitely comfortable with myself and confident in what I want in life. But I've wondered if things are really that bleak with poor posture lately. People simply cannot tell if there's a medical condition. I guess you could say I suspect people silently made up their own minds without realizing it themselves.

      You're completely right and believe me when I say this whole idea is being thrown into the trash.

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