Dating a Guy with Kids, He wants to move in together?

Okay so I've been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks (hes 22, I'm 23) and we seem to really be hitting off. We both got out of serious relationships (mine 5 years & him 6 Years) he's a really awesome guy, sweet, respectful & funny and a hard worker. But he has two kids. A boy who's 3 & girl who's 2. I don't have a problem with kids. It's just a sticky situation. Him and his ex are separated and have been for some time now. He told me they still live together because the lease on the house the rented hasn't expired and they didn't want to dump the financial burned on each other, so they decided to maintain living together until the lease is done with. He stays in a separate room. I know it sounds horrible already, but he was upfront and honest about all of this. Which to me personally says something. So I respect his honesty and give him credit for that. he's told me he's not looking into making me a mother because he knows im in college and respects that. So we've been talking right and he was telling me he was going to be a Marine but he got into a car accident that prevented him from deploying. Now he's all better and wants to pursue becoming a Marine. He will be stationed in San Diego. he's from Las Vegas Im from Los Angeles. We were having a conversation one night and we were talking about him living in San Diego, he asked if i wanted to go live with him. I thought he was joking so I didn't take it seriously, because I am in college. But he said he didn't see why we shouldn't further our relationship. and that we click so well. Also in a goodnight text he wrote "My Love"!! Those two things are shockers to me. Because we've haven't been talking for too long and we haven't said I love you. Which is too soon for that. I enjoy talking to him and he's really perfect its just a complicated situation. Can I get a guys perspective on what he might be thinking about our relationship or what he wants out of this. I do welcome all opinions.


Most Helpful Guy

  • To advance your self-growth and development. I advice against relocating and cohabitating with him. I do recommend, however, that you finish school and experience living on your own for a reasonable amount of time prior to moving in with anyone, if it's within your means.

    The guy is a quick mover and thus is thinking ahead, naively and anxiously. For two weeks of dating, for the most part, is simply is not enough time to fully determine how compatible two people will likely be in the future.

    • We've been dating for a couple of weeks roughly one month and a half.

      I'm just curious why would he mention moving in together so soon. If at all he really has true feelings for me or he sees someone who doesn't mind him having kids so he's thinking of a future? I'm just trying to understand what he's thinking.

      I wouldn't move in with him so soon because we haven't known each other long enough.
      And my education is my priority. Should I just stay away from him? I really do like him but its just so sudden.

    • It's possible that he has feelings for you, but feelings alone shouldn't be the primary basis of him asking you to relocate and move in with him. He made an emotional based decision when logic and sensibility should have been applied. Either that or he is, unfortunately, totally oblivious to how fast he is moving.
      "Should I stay away from him?" As long as he respects your position to finish school prior to considering his invitation, then I see nothing wrong with dating him.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'd say no. You are not easy for his baggage. This sounds like a rebound situation for him. Besides are you able to take what it's like to be the possible wife of a marine who gets deployed for a year at a time, leaning with his kids and his hostile ex?
    The fact that he is charming and sweet so quick is and sign in it self. A level headed man would move VERY SLOW when his kids are on the line.
    Stay away hun. Your future is at stake.

    • Thank you! That is so true, he should be moving slowly because of his kids. I fell like because I accept that he has kids, he feels he needs to bag me or tie me down. Because talking about moving in together was just shocking to me. Thanks again. :)

    • The fact that you like his kids is not enough reason for him to want to " bag" you. Like the anon guy said he is not being rational.
      There too many key elements he is ignoring.
      You are simply too young and impressionable. He is too emtional.