Want to become closer with my girlfriend. Feels as if things are going way too slow?

Been dating a girl for little over 2 weeks (She's my first girlfriend though she's had boyfriends in the past. We didn't know each other very well before we started dating). And by 'dating' I mean we've been on a single date and have been unsuccessful in finding time to set up another. (mainly work/school related)

That first date seemed pretty positive. I enjoyed myself and it's clear that she enjoyed herself and she wants to set up another.

We didn't do much but talk. No hand-holding, hugs, kisses etc. I'm not too fussed about that. We got to know each other better and I really like her.

We're also both very shy.

Now we've started the new term of school and I feel as if our relationship is frozen in place. I try to talk to her whenever I can but during every recess her best friend often swoops in and then any conversation becomes nigh impossible.

We talk in the classes we have together but it just seems as if we're not advancing in any way. I'm pretty sure to an outside observer it wouldn't even seem as if we're a couple.

I really want to hug her, hold her hand or even so much as touch her at all but I feel that if I make any advances like that it would just make her feel uncomfortable. Apparently she had a bad experience in one of her previous relationships. She's so reserved with her feelings and it seems impossible to figure out if she's even that interested in me or not. (She at least likes me a little bit because I can tell she enjoys talking to me)

Everyone expects us to have kissed and hugged already. I know I should take things slow but this is unbearable. We won't even be able to organize another date for about 2 weeks. I feel I could sort this out if we actually had alone time outside of school but I don't know what I should do until then.

Any advice would be welcome.

dating shy girl but things going too slow and feeling pressured by others


Most Helpful Girl

  • My first piece of advice the next time you talk to her and her bestie swoops in to speak with her see if she texted her first, no I do not mean snoop her cell, I mean try to notice if her cells out all the time. When I was dating I texted my bff all of the time with SOS. If not she did have a bad experience in the past, let her take her time. You could be pressuring her and not even know it. Just give it time in all seriousness and if its still not going anywhere move on. You can't wait around on one person ever. You're young but won't always stay that way. Good luck!


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Tell her exactly how you feel. Women appreciate honesty as long as it's kindly put.

  • You have to give it time, I'm like that and I hate when guys pressure me or become too close when I'm not ready to be close with them. This probably isn't what you want to hear but the only solution is patience, a lot of patience. If you wondering when to give up if she's not that into you only you will know in time.


What Guys Said 2

  • Man, closeness comes with trust, that being said... the only way she is going ti develop this trust is by hanging out with you. So flirt with her, tickle if the moment is set up for it, u know play around, tease her a bit! Lol just have fun with her

  • My first "girlfriend/boyfriend" relationship was a trainwreck. She was my first girlfriend and I was her first boyfriend. I was like you, I put forth effort into it, yet she did not seem too interested. Sure enough, a week later, she breaks up with me. I did not feel bad at all, because I predicted it. Of course, I did everything in the best of my power to uphold it, but she was not too interested. But she was a little young, she being 15, me 4 years older.

    • That's nice and all but I'd appreciate some advice rather than just a story.

    • Let me expand on the explanation. At some point, it becomes a status rather than an actual relationship. Anyone can label themselves or others as a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", but it is the bonding and progression that establishes the relationship. That is why it is called a "relationship" because two people "relate" and connect. Now initially, you have to meet the person and get to know her, then afterwards, that is when the beginning stages of a relationship develop.
      So, you say that you guys have been seeing each other for two weeks, right? Give it sone time. If you do not notice any progression, it may very well be a loss cause and a mismatch. At that point, it may be best to sever those ties. It happens, it sucks, I have been through it just recently, but eventually something will work in your favor.

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