Is it over? Friend/Roommate/Hookup?

So, before everything happened, I did have feelings towards my roommate. All of a sudden one night, he kissed me. We made out a few times. And I asked him what we were. He said he will give me the answer soon enough. We hold hands, we hugged and everything seems to be going the right way.

Then few days after, he said he didn't see us together. He like me not in an affection way. However, he still wanted to kiss me saying that because we were friends, so I let him. Eventually, few days after I wanted to kiss him, he said no. Because he said he had already made things clear.

I'm really heart-broken. I'm in my 20s and this is the first guy I ever fell so quick and so deep. Oh and that was my first kiss as well. Oh and did I mention he's actually younger than me, so I felt like I'm being played by a younger guy and that kind of pissed me off.

So, what am I supposed to do? He's going to be my roommate for at least another year. We still hang out as friends but I kept on wanting him and care for him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • With the 'Kiss in the nite' Also Came a Shot in the dark And--------He realized that it was a mistake, being you Both going Still share the same nest. He was scared everything May go South, causing even your friendship to be less than two birds of a feather. He obviously isn't crowing about it.
    And on top of this, he also gave it some thought that he really wasn't Into a 'Live in' deal, but just a 'Roomy 'mate deal instead.
    Lick your wounds and try and accept it. However if you are this hurt, maybe it's best to give him a two weeks notice that you will be packing ship and leaving the poop deck.
    He's young yet, younger than you. And he most likely isn't ready for anything steady at this point. As much as this 'Pees' you off, I don't feel that he 'played' you, but just got caught up in the heated moment, and caught himself After the fact.
    Good luck. xx

    • Thanks Paris13, this is a very reasonable answer.
      I just felt very difficult to let go and still wanted to hold on and wait. Is it silly? Will he ever come back? Or should i just move on, despite my want and desire for him?

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    • Thank you again, Paris13. Yes, he's still my roommate and will be for another year and that's why it is hard for me to find closure and really move on. Gonna take a break for a month away from him hope everything will be clear by then. Thank you for your kind answers. It helps a lot.

    • Thank you for allowing me to be here for you, sweetie... I just wanted to make sure you were still there.. yes, a break, but like I say, if it is this hard, maybe best to move out.. If not possible right now, then avoid him at all cost.. It's harder when you share the same nest, than if you lived apart to help Start Moving on faster.. Try to get involved more with friends, activities... Enjoy your summer... xx

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What Guys Said 3

  • You know he might have changed his mind because he doesn't want to get involved with someone he is living with. This can turn into drama central if things go south with you two.

    If you can't get over it you are going to have some issues. Give yourself some space from him and get over it. Else the next year of your life is going to end up being super awkward.

    • Thanks halafax.
      So this roommate-lover thing never work out?
      And he won't be back again? These are the questions that kept me wondering and holding out my breath for. Should i just move on despite how much i want him?

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    • Thank you, i think i totally understand that and it still takes me some time and courage to really manage all this. Need to really think rationally and more about putting myself first. Thanks again, halafax.

    • *tips hat* my pleasure dear. Just take it easy.

  • See, i can understand your condition.. Sit and talk to him once again and tell him to give you a chance as he you both are friends so for friendship, ask if he can give you a chance and tell him that there's nowhere a loss of his so that he can accept it and ask for it with full emotions.
    All the Best buddy. I'll pray for you

    • Thank you! But its just hard to really do the asking again. We are friendly yet if I ask, wouldn't it be awkward again? I hate the awkwardness when he tried to pull away. Huge dilemma.

    • Then other option is.. Start dating others and you'll may like someone.

    • And you're welcome

  • Whatever, he doesn't want to kiss, if you want to get him back, wait a little until he wants to get it on, then deny him. But either way, just stay away from the psycho.

    • Haha, you think he's psycho? Why?

    • Like out of the blue he decides it's over and he doesn't want to see you? Like a random 360 right? Unprovoked? That's a psycho.

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