How are online relationships suppose to work?

So.. I've been talking to this guy for 4 months (ironically today!), dating him for about 3, and I feel like I'm actually in love. But, I don't know if I'm just a cheater, or I just don't feel like the relationship is real because we haven't met in person. Due to the fact that I talk to other guys still. I even have a special "friend" I still enjoy being around, even though I'm suppose to be in this relationship. I really do love my boyfriend, but I just don't think that our relationship is solid yet. So, how are online relationships actually suppose to work, when it comes to commitment and everything, is it really the same rules as a normal relationship?
P. S. My boyfriend and I actually live in the same city, but because neither one of us have cars or time is the reason we haven't met.


Most Helpful Guy

  • To be honest --and maybe I'm just an old dinosaur-- but the whole "online relationship" concept blows my mind. I just can't understand how people can develop any sort of romantic attachment to, not only someone they don't see often, but someone they've never even met in person. Also, I don't have an adequate level of confidence that people are who they say they are. There are a number of users on here that I don't believe they are who they present themselves to be, whether its using fake pictures or just plain old pretending to be someone they aren't altogether. I won't name names of course, and I'm not sure enough to call anyone out anyway, but when I see someone's pic is some hot, barely legal-type and they act very hypersexualized, and play the whole "I'm only 18...*tee-hee*" role, I'm immediately suspicious. Same goes for dudes here. There are a few profiles I've seen with some super-handsome or super-in shape dude, and in some cases, something about it just sets off my BS radar.

    Additionally, and forgive me if I'm jumping to the wrong conclusion, but not meeting you when you live in the same city seems highly suspect. I understand you dont have cars, but you could take a bus or get a ride or something within a 4 month span. To be honest with you, I wouldn't meet him alone if I were you until you know for sure. You never know, it could be some pedo or something. Maybe you've skyped or done some live video stuff and you know its on the level, but until you've had some kind of live conversation with them and you physically see the words coming out of their mouth in response to you, I wouldn't trust anyone.

    But anyway, I'll get out of concerned dad mode, haha, and just say that I'd agree, nothing is solid until you've met. No boyfriend worth his salt would go this long without meeting you and expect any sort of commitment.

    • Thanks, for your concerns and everything, I do know he's not a pedo lol.. We have instant picture messaged using snapchat and videoed before, so there's no worries with that. But I do think there has been commitment issues on both of our parts and maybe a few lies from him. We're suppose to meet soon though *fingers crossed* lol. Thanks for your great advice! :)

    • You crazy kids, with your InstaFace and your MyPods... Haha, well, glad you've made sure it's not some weirdo! I used to be young and cool, seems like just a year or two ago... but I guess I just don't get the internet romance dynamic. But I hope you guys can meet up and it all turns out for the best!😊

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What Guys Said 3

  • Hmmm... Sadly, the truth is that you never really know who that person online really is... Have you ever spoken to him on the phone? How expensive is transport in the USA? I remember catching a bus and a cab there for a couple of dollars. If this guy was really genuine, he would have made a plan to meet you. I would find a way to travel to the other side of the world for someone I felt I had a real connection to.

    If I was in the same city and I couldn't find the money for transport, I would walk... even if it took me two days...

    This sounds very dodgy... Please be careful and avoid a broken heart.. nobody deserves that...

    • Thank you, I know he is who he say because we snapchat, so he is the one from the pictures.. But I do find myself wondering why he hasn't made a real attempt to see me if he feels like he's said he does. I've told him he can come over my house and he's said his brother could bring him, but he hasn't actually attempted in my opinion.. I really don't know how to feel about my relationship with him, because of not meeting him in person yet.

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    • Hmm.. That's a great idea, but I've been looking forward to meeting him somewhere in private. But that does sound like a good plan, thank you. I might consider doing just that. :)

    • Good luck...

  • They can't really work, at some point you will have to meet and see if it works then. I mean how far can you really take it. What memories can you create together when you've never met. No kissing, no dates, no cuddling, sex, going places. It can't work for long. Sooner or later you or him will meet someone in real life

  • Online relationships are a joke, except when you're in one.
    Most people expect monogamy, though that is utterly unrealistic.

    The best you can hope for is honesty, not fidelity. People need physical aspects in a relationship, whether it's just kissing, holding hands or fucking. If you're not there in the flesh, they will be tempted by someone who is. And it's a powerful urge.

    Much better if they and you both know and agree in advance that physical monogamy is a fools dream, and let them stray when they have the chance.

    • Lol thank you, that sounds about accurate.. I need the physical aspect, which he can't provide right now, so I can't see a monogamous relationship with him, being its online. Glad I'm not the only one who can't keep it in my pants while I'm dating someone online. :]

What Girls Said 1