Need help. Is he controlling or just confused? What should I do?

So I met this guy at a club a while ago and we hit it off, we have only seen eachother 4 times (at clubs and in company of our friends). He wanted to see me again before he went out of town for three weeks but I couldn't since I was working. The same day J got back home (was an 18h flight+1h car ride) he surprised me at work (a lingerie shop for women) and asked me if I wanted to try out this new club, I said yes and we had so much fun.

This weekend I went clubbing with a friend and he happened to be there. I didn't talk too much to him because I didn't want my friend to feel like the third wheel. We all danced but when I saw my ex my friend and I left to go to the other dancefloor and J stayed with his friends. There were several guys trying to dance with me and my friend, we didn't say no, not wanting to be total bitches, but walked away after a while (no slutty-dancing haha). When the club was closing my friend and I took our stuff from the wardrobe and since we couldn't see the others we started to walk our way home.
All of a sudden J is there, grabbing my arm looking pissed. He wanted to talk so we sat down and did.
J "Where do we stand? I mean sometimes we text and tonight when we see eachother you disappear with your friend and then I see you dancing with other guys. You haven't replied to any of my texts tonight (was in my bag) and I just don't want you to lead me on if you don't feel it"
Me"The last thing I want is you believing that I'm leading you on. I didn't want my friend to feel like the third wheel tonight because I came with her, I also saw some people I didn't want to talk to"
J"I understand. What I don't get is why we only meet up at clubs and when we are drinking?"
Me"I would like to hang out"
J"It sounds like you want to hang out just as friends?"
We kept talking and sorted it all out, he followed me home and we laughed so much and then we kissed goodnight.

Do you think he's controlling or just confused? And what should I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he was just confused. Don't worry about it.


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