Can you hinder Chemistry or the "spark" as its know?

Hi Guys/Girls

I met a girl all the indications of interest were there, everything was positive, so i thought id go down the route with this 23 year old girl of playing hard to get and get her home early and not being too touchy with her, basically not giving too much of my self to her and escalating these things slowly, or making her work harder for me or showing her im not easy and someone worth being with, well 3rd date i spilled my guts and told her my intentions were good (i know i prob opened my mouth too early) and the rest of the evening was awkward and that evening i was being more touchy with her and we kissed ect, i thought everything was good, well it ended with a i don't feel the spark and it devastated me because i though we were going somewhere, but when i think about it yes that 3rd date was weird, im sure she didn't get that i was playing hard to get, and she just assumed there was no chemistry, because the affection we shared means we were on the same level otherwise she would have rejected kisses or walking hand in hand. is it my fault did i create a sense of no chemistry by restricting my self my emotions and physical contact, has she made a mistake or is there really no chemistry period and can you explain this to a women and have her change her mind or is it set in stone!!!


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What Girls Said 2

  • Personally I think playing hard to get is never a great idea on dates, by that point both parties have usually acknowledged each person has some interest in one another to be having several dates in the first place, yet you both still dont know much about each other.
    If I was on a date with a guy I would expect some cuddling and subtley romantic things, but if he was being cold I would be reeeally confused- why is he on a date with me if he doesn't seem interested at all? It would be pretty off-putting and confusing.
    If she rejected kisses and such, thats probably a sign either that you were cold and it made he cold too, or she just decided over time that chemistry just isn't there after all...

    • There was walking hand in hand on the second date, and on the third date we kissed she didn't reject that, but dam it i think i killed the attraction, i so liked her, now she dont answer any messages

  • Well I believe you do have feelings towards her and you really like her, but she doesn't feel the same for you so there's no chemistry. Chemistry has to go both ways. Whether or not she changes her mind is up to her.

    • i did have feelings, i was told by a friend to not kiss on the first date and to escalate things slowly so that you dont look that easy and so she wants you more, i saw his point, also being a young girl i thought playing it safe was the best way to do it as young girls are confused with what they want and i believe it ended that way with confusion, after i treated her like gentleman and paid attention to her and all the things a girl could want out of a guy. she's a smart girl whom thought she was right with ending it but i truly believe she mad a dumb mistake, that being the case i probably did too playing it safe and giving her my intentions on the 3rd date, i slap my self everyday, i really thought she was the one.

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