Why does my ex-boyfriend keep me hanging but says he wants to see me?

We are both divorced and are in our 40's. We knew each other in high school. Found each other on a on line dating service 27 years later and started dating. He said he never wanted to lose me again. Everything was great and he moved in weeks later.

He told me he loved me and ask me to marry him.

After awhile I notice he was drinking all the time. We would get into fights and he would put me down and always had to be right and better then me on EVERYTHING.

I have kicked him out several times and we always got back together. This time he is staying away and we just e-mail each other. Very seldom do we talk on the phone. He has been wanting me to meet his son that he has for summer visitation.

He invites me at the last min. To come over, which is in another town by e-mail.

We have been talking about going to a free out door play for the last several weeks. He never calls but says we will have to see about making the play that evening or for me to come over.

He says he is spending time with his young son. But misses me and wants to see me. I still love him and want to see him.

My question is, if he still cares about me and loves me and wants to see me, why does he not confirm the plans and keeps me hanging? Making me think we are going to do something that evening.

Is he trying to play a game with me and get back at me for kicking him out and telling his parents about his drinking? (Which they already know about)

I don't get it ? Why is he so inconsiderate about my feelings and never calls back to cancel the plans?

I know I deserve better, but I still love him and thought we were taking a break from one another for a while.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Personally...that is a situation Id stay away from. If someone treated me that way, Id feel he has no respect for me (put downs, arguments, has to be right all the time) , no respect for my time (leaving me hanging, not confirming plans), or himself (excessive drinking) from what you described.

    If he's playing games, or even gives you that impression, at his age, there's something wrong.

    From everything you said, the way he's treating you is *not* how you treat someone you care about, love and want to see...its the complete and direct opposite.

    Im simply not one to change a man into what I want him to be...he is who he is, and either I appreciate and accept it...or I don't put up with it and move on.

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