Why isn't he calling after it happened?

Alright I'm 17 and this guy is 18 almost 19. Just before valentines day this guy messaged me telling me I was was really beautiful, I've never met this guy before but I had talked to him while I was at my friends house and she was on the phone with him. And we started talking over messages then we begun to text message each other. One night I was going to a party and I asked him to pick me up from it after to go to another party (he couldn't be at the first one because there was illegal activities going on and he is in the Army. ) We had talked for about 2 hours straight that night and he seemed like a guy I could really trust. The next day I went to his work with my friend, she is also a friend of his and we all hung out after at his house. Turns out that my friend also liked him but he explained to me that he really didn't like her more than a friend. Well that following Tuesday I went to his house and he ended up fooling around and having sex, originally when I told him I was a virgin he said he wouldn't mess with that although we ended up messing with that. Ever since then we haven't talked as much as we used to. A little over two weeks since that Tuesday he wanted to chill but I was already doing something with other friends. And I haven't heard from him in a few days. I'm not sure if he was using me, or if he trying to give me space because he feels bad about what he did. I tried calling him to talk about it but it was late and he was sleeping and I can't really gain the courage to call him to talk about it. I'm not sure what I should do.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Your not going to like this answer: He didn't like having sex with you.

    Your also under-age, which is a no-no for a man who is concerned enough about law that he wouldn't go to a party because it had drugs at it. When he was around you he was just too hot and bothered to think about anything other then you. His offer to chill with you was most likely an interest in telling you what I just did.

    There is a slim chance that he thinks you don't like him since you said you were too busy to see him that time... big mistake on your part BTW, and one you'll most likely regret for a long time. I'm sorry. You can try to recover from it by texting/calling him a couple times(several if needed) - trust me, girls CAN get away with this - just don't contact him 10+ times during the same day. If you never hear back... there's really nothing you can do...

    ...well.. there is one thing.. and its very underhanded.. if you don't hear back after a week.. leave a really nasty message... if no response after another week... threaten to press charges for statutory rape... if that doesn't get a response... well, you blew it.

    if he does respond, demand to see him in person... and use those ole crocodile tears and tell him you really like him and got really hurt when you thought he just used you... and try to have make-up sex.... and DO, try to get as much info about sex before hand so you are much better in bed then the last time.

    isn't all this ugly: generally the truth is - and its almost always politically incorrect as well. Oh the irony.

  • The feelings you are having are really normal, you have perceived this guy to be someone to be trusted and share something that was really personal.It is hard to do a character profile on him since I don't really know this guy but sometimes guys do feel a little weird after an event such as what you were describing. I think it is your right to ask him what his intentions were, instead of living with what ifs. If he is a real man he will be straight up with you and tell you what's on his mind, if he starts with excuses like he had things to take care of blah blah. Just move on and learn from this lesson. Good Luck & All the best!


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