Should I just let him be while he's on vacation?

So this guy who I've been talking to for about 2 months now is out of town. Prior to leaving he talked about meeting up but we never did. He said he was with friends and I said ok I won't interrupt, text me later on if you feel like it and he said ok. He never texted me that night or the next morning be he did let me know later on that day that he made it. We talk like every day and it varies on who says good morning. This is how our convo went.
Him: Just touched down
Me: Glad u made it safely
Him: Thankya thankya
Me: Yup
Him: I'm sensing attitude..
Me: No i'm ok
Him: Yup..
Me: U don't believe me or u just feel like being smart?
Him: Both
Me: Well don't be smart and I'd let u know if I wasn't ok.

He never replied but I honestly wasn't mad and if I was I wouldn't have gone out my way to say "glad u made it safely" I would've said something like "good" if I was upset. I think he thinks I'm mad because we didn't see each other before he left and he chose to be with his friends. Sometimes when we'll have plans, instead of saying (my name) we won't be able to meet up he kinda just lets me imply that we won't be meeting up based off of what he's doing. For instance, if we were supposed to meet up and you ask me what I'm doing and I say about to head to the movies, you aren't necessarily telling me that we won't do x, y, x but at the same time you are because clearly you're doing something different than what was planned. I think he thinks I'm upset about him not verbally canceling plans because I just told him about doing that last week and I actually was mad then. All I ask is that he communicates, I don't care if he sees his friends but just don't leave me hanging.. communicate. Still haven't heard from him, should I just contact him after his trip? Or wait for him to contact me? He gets home Sunday night.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You should wait until he contacts you.

    And then, you need to tell him what you wrote here: that you are fine with him having a life and friends outside the two of you, and get that he needs time for that, but his COMMUNICATION (or lack thereof) about that isn't acceptable

    • Thank you! If we usually talk all the time, how come he hasn't responded? Do you think he's upset with me? He just wants to avoid an argument?

    • Most likely, he's just busy relaxing/getting away from his normal routine, AND trying to avoid an argument. Just give him his space, and then address things when he gets back. Be confident about what you want, but don't have a whiny or accusing tone in your voice when you discuss it - just matter-of-fact. All you are asking for is reasonable communication, which isn't a lot to ask of him.

    • Thank You.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You need to tell him exactly what you just said in the last couple lines, but wait until he gets back. Also, don't contact him again until he contacts you. It will make him think a little. You don't want to come off as being too clingy either. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be left hanging. I had a similar situation with my wife when we were dating. I was working crazy hours and we'd kind of make plans, but nothing set in stone. Stuff like "hey let's do something later". Then I'd fall asleep and when I got up I'd text her to say sorry I fell asleep and just got up. I didn't find out until after we were married that she'd be all dressed up ready to do something with me, and just be waiting for me to call her. Needless to say I felt terrible when I heard that. It seems like you are in a similar situation. Just tell him it's totally cool that he hangs out with his friends, but just communicate with you and don't leave you hanging.

    • Ok thanks! Why do you think he hasn't responded though? We usually talk all the time. Do you think he's just trying to avoid conflict? Is he upset?

    • He might just be busy. I mean he's on vacation. When I go on vacation a lot of times I'm in areas without cell service and if he's out with a bunch of friends it might be hard for him to get away to text you. If he was just sitting at home then I'd be more concerned. I'd just wait until he comes back and then talk to him about the leaving you hanging.

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