Online dating: Is this why he didn't ask me out again?

I met a guy online, and we hit it off really well online, getting to know each other for a few days. he suggested we go for coffee/drinks. We met up a couple days later on Sunday afternoon. We ended up talking for 2.5 hours and then we both had to go (we both had studying or work to do from home). At the end of the date, when I said Thank you (as he paid for my 2 drinks), he said, "No... thank you".

He texted me when I got home, asked if I got home safe or whatever and we talked back and forth a bit. Then Sunday i texted him and we talked/joked back and forth during the day. (I was studying that day and he knew this). Then I never heard from him again. I didn't text him again b/c I assumed he would contact me if he was interested.

Here are 2 things, I think I did "wrong":
1) I mentioned going on some very "bad" dates online, although I was fairly vague. I did expand on one very recent experience of one guy I met online who asked to talk on the phone first... and how when I told him I wasn't interested he went crazy and started harassing me with texts. So, maybe this guy thought if he texted me or called me too much, I might think he's crazy or something like? He's good-looking but pretty geeky, kind of shy, and I don't think he has very much experience with girls or dating, based on the things he would say.
2) He went to kiss me on the cheek at the end, and it really surprised me and I kind of got awkward but we both joked it off. (I am not a touchy person, especially w/ people I have just met).

This was back in February. And while he's closed his account, I can see he still has his. I don't know if I am just obsessing over nothing and maybe I'm lonely, but I've thought of texting him again... but thinking that might look fairly weird.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, you're overthinking it.
    Text/call him! He'll be glad to hear from you, especially because time has passed. It shows that you haven't forgotten him or the time you had together.
    Put yourself in his place... Would you be happy to hear from him?
    Guys don't play relationship chess like girls do. We're dense that way. This may be a good thing. :-)

    • Thanks
      Any thoughts why he didn't message me? I always took that as a sign of no interest.

    • Show All
    • We're at the point where individual differences affect outcome. It's not a "guy thing" that one guy can answer for another.
      Don't put your beliefs (no contact == no interest) on his actions. Not fair. Yes, really. I am not making this up.
      Idea! Communicate with him. Don't be a wall flower. It gets you nowhere.

      Idea! Communicate with him. Better to communicate than to sit around imagining, assuming things.

    • Thank you. I am going to contact him. I do not have his # anymore, but I recall his last name. I used to work where he does, so I know his email is just his name@soandso. com (I cross-checked this so I know it's right). I was thinking of just shooting him an e-mail, something like. "Hey -, This is -, we met a while ago. I lost your number but recalled your last name, and since I used to work at -, I knew it was just your name@... etc. I know we haven't talked in a while, but I was wondering how you were doing and how your summer is going? You can reach me here or at my# if you like. Cheers". Would appreciate some more feedback :)

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