Basically threw me out 2 in the morning after not wanting to have sex. Now he texted me, what to do?

So I've seen this guy four times. We hit it off instantly, I feel like I can be myself with him and we have so much fun. I usually don't let myself feel this way when it comes to guys because my ex hurt me bad. He once asked me where we were headed because he didn't want to be lead on (after I went clubbing with a friend and he+friends happened to be there, I didn't want my friend to be the third wheel so I hung out with her).

I have met pretty much all of his friends and last time we went to him and watched a movie after.
It got pretty heated at one point so I pulled back, which he didn't take well. I tried to explain but I didn't do a really good job. I told him that my ex had been a real douche (didn't tell him that my ex pretty much forced himself on me, and that on my birthday when I was out of town he cheated on me). He said that he felt like I rejected him and I told him that that wasn't the case. He then asked me to leave. It was two in the morning and I had to go through a park where guys started shouting after me, a few blocked my way and one grabbed my arm and wouldn't let me pass. I called him right before the guys got close but he sent me to voicemail.
I was terrified and so pissed off. It felt like once he realized I wasn't going to have sex with him he thought it was a waste of time. He told me that he needed to think. Yesterday he texted me and asked if I'd called him (i hadn't). I asked him how he was and he said "ok, on my way to the movies. How are you?" I texted back "honestly, I have been better, I didn't like the way we left it last time." he went "it got pretty awkward so I don't know if we could have done it any different.."
Didn't reply to the last one, should I? Feel like he was the one who made it weird. He wanted a hug before I left which felt strange.

Am I wrong? What would you've done?
One of my friends says he probably is insecure because I have a lot of guys after me, which he saw when I went clubbing with my friend.

Lol wow. Don't know what I was thinking, luckily if all of this hadn't happened 5 months ago I wouldn't have met my current bf, don't think there's a better guy out there. :')


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm sorry, but he sounds like a real jerk. He is obviously used to girls giving in to him and you probably bruised his ego. But what is completely unacceptable and irresponsible is for him to ask you to leave the safety of a home at 2am, knowing very well that there are numerous dangers out there that could harm you.

    Seriously, if this is the character he is showing after just 4 dates, I would stay away from him. I am sure you could do a great deal better than him... Sounds like he still has some growing up to do...

    • Thanks for the answer! Wasn't sure if I overreacted or not. After he asked me to leave he added "you are working tomorrow, and besides it seems like it's going to be a slow night anyway."
      Do you think I should I say something about it or just stay away entirely?

    • Why stoop to the level of commenting on the childish comments he made? he sounds like one of those "typical males" that give decent guys a bad name. I wouldn't waste by breath... I think you could do a lot better for yourself... Now go be happy... ;)

    • Oh haha, didn't mean I would comment on what he had said, sorry for being unclear. Probably shouldn't waste my breath anyway as you said!
      Thanks, you too :)

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What Guys Said 4

  • Even if he WAS angry, you do NOT let someone walk through dangerous areas at 2 in the fucking morning. Some legit, bad shit could've happened to you, especially going by your story of those guys who were harassing you in the park.

    Kick this guy to the curb, what a fucking baby he is.

    • Yeah I was pretty pissed about that.. haha thanks :)

  • Reacting that way to a girl who just asked to take it slower is a sign that sex is all he wants. If it had been actually just an awkward situation then he would have taken you home at least. Guys only get worse after they have taken "what they came for" so if he shows he doesn't care about you now he'll be even worse after sex.
    It is your life, but please don't waste it with such people.

    • Ah thanks! :) I know how to pick them haha! He actually looked hurt the whole time afterwards so I almost caved at one point but then I thought that there is no way I'm going to let him guilttrip me into anything I'm not comfortable with. But I still wasn't sure if it was just me overreacting.
      I won't. Thing is we go to the same places when we are clubbing, so I'm not entirely sure what to do if I see him, if it would be childish to ignore him?

    • You don't need to ignore him. Just see if he keeps aiming at sex or he wants something more involved.

  • Fuck that guy! (Not literally) honestly he sounds like a grade A prick. Sounds like he was just wanting one thing and there are other guys out there who you can "hit it off with" who aren't such jerks. Don't , by any means, feel like you are in the wrong. You gave him a chance an he blew it, move on to someone better

    • Hahah! Yeah you are probably right, thanks :)

  • Lol how are some girls so stupid? Smh... Like why is this even a question.

    • Hahaha why thank you kind sir, I hope you are feeling better now that you have declared my stupidity over the internet ;) no but seriously, I really liked the guy and that doesn't happen to me a lot, definitely not this quickly. And yes, after going over my post again I do realise he sound like a complete jerk. I still like to think he is a good person, just like I like to think you are hehe ;) Call that stupidity or whatever but I like to see the good in people, not always to my advantage but it's one of the things I value most about myself.

      That, my friend, is why I'm one of those stupid girls.

    • Show All
    • You're English is good. "It got pretty awkward, I don't know if it couldve gone differently". One hell of an apology. Anyway I'm not gonna try and change your already made up perspective of this guy, but just based on the way you described this particular situation, he's a piece of shit. If you know him better and think he's a good guy, then do whatever you want.

    • Thank you :) no he apologized after he texted that. But I won't go back to him anyway. Thank you for sharing your opinion :)

What Girls Said 1

  • If someone does that to me, I'll be pissed of totally and I would end up everything we had, no matter how much fun we had.. He's a jerk. My advice to you is to relax because you didn't do anything wrong. Like you said, guys hit on you so the normal one will show up just wait and have fun. Forget about this idiot and don't text him, because afterall sex is the only thing he ever wanted from you..

    • You are right, don't know what I was thinking haha! Thanks :)

    • No problem! :) any time

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