I wonder if I'm fighting for a relationship that is not worth fighting for anymore?

I've been with my boyfriend for years. The past 21/2 yrs, he hardly ever kisses me. It's only a Peck Hello & goodbye. To get"intimate", 90% of the time, it's collar bone down. I've asked him several times if he doesn't like to kiss me anymore, if I've bad breath, & he always says no. But, he will only kiss me after performing oral sex on me. I've discussed what kissing does for me prior to sex &it hasn't helped. He gropes on my body or goes in to perform oral sex then it's sex time*uggh* I've explained that it makes me feel like I'm just a warm body, so much so that I don't even want to have sex anymore. We go to bed at night&he's watching tv or on his phone, so I just go to sleep. Or... He says crap like "don't you want some of this" expecting me to"jump on it". I don't and within two days he's pissy b/c we haven't had sex. He starts calling me a bitch & asking who I'm having sex with b/c it's sure not him. I'm faithful to him btw. What exactly am I missing? I am beautiful, kind, loyal, and a damn good mom. I exercise and look pretty good to have had 5 children... I don't understand. Do I just let it go? I understand things change over time, but have I just become his "screwhole"? Someone PLEASE HELP

So, after "venting" &reading my thoughts & seeing my responses, I see that I do appear &sound pathetic. I have no idea how I turned into this. I've always been independent & secure with who&how I am. I need to get back in touch with myself. *F* him!!


Most Helpful Guy

  • he doesn't sound like he respects you or treats you at all the way a man should. I think you should absolutely break up with him if he doesn't make a true commitment to changing.

    • I don't think he does at all. And I've told him such. There is no way if you love and respect someone you are quick to call ugly negative names. His response is that he only does that when he's mad and he doesn't mean them. Here's the thing, if he can behave this way on a regular weekly basis, my opinion is that is how he truly feels and how he sees me. How does a person go from thinking/feeling someone is amazing to thinking they are shit? Is just appalling really.

    • yeah you absolutely deserve better than that. Everyone may have struggles in relationships or get frustrated and argue but there are lines you don't cross in any relationship. he sounds immature, unable or unwillingly to control his temper and clearly uses language that is very disrespectful to you

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, things do change over time as you say. I think its difficult for a guy to feel the same excitement in the relationship after some years and may find new things about his wife that he dislike. Has he hinted anything like this?

    • He doesn't hint at anything. He says "you're the best thing to ever happen to me". Yet, he can sit in the same room I'm sitting in and not look at me or speak. And within 20 minutes he'll ask me if I'm alright and then go on &on about how I am ignoring him and not even speaking to him. I explain that he hasn't spoke either and Holy cow! He goes on a lecture of how I'm not wanting to have anything to do with him. He then goes on and on about not having sex in 3 days, but in those 3 days NOT ONCE had he shown ANY Interest IN ME @ ALL, nor has he even tried. I'm just lost. It's like in the beginning I was the best thing since sliced bread. Then our daughter was born& it's been a steady decline. He's called me a whore, bitch, stupid bitch, crazy, looney toon, all kinds of ugly things. & he'll talk to me telling me how he is so wonderful & I'm "incapable "of the very things he used to say were great about me. I've told him if he's not happy we can part ways, & he doesn't "want that".

What Girls Said 1

  • If you told him exactly how you feel and he's not changing or at least putting in some effort to be better then yes I'd leave him.